The Magic Joke Collection : Cool and Funny Magic Card Creations

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Magic Card Creations

• Land Card Creations

• Artifact Card Creations

• Gold Card Creations

• Black Card Creations

• Blue Card Creations

• Green,Red,White,Miscellaneous Card Creations

LAND

Beach - Legendary Land

Cumulative Upkeep: Gain 1 life. Effects that prevent or redirect damage can not be used to counter this gain of life.

All Damage dealt to you or any of your creatures is doubled. No effects that stop creatures from attacking can be used while Beach is in play.

Tap - Add one colorless mana to your mana pool.

Tap - Sacrifice Beach to add 2 colorless mana to your mana pool

Tap - Draw exactly one half of target opponent's library into your hand. Opponent draws exactly one half of your library into his hand. Exchange ownership of these cards. Ignore this effect if you are not playing for ante.

Nothing like relaxing on the beach, right?

Submitted by David Weiss

Camelot (it's only a model) - Land

Tap : Tap all your opponents creatures. If this effect is used, you must sing "The Lumberjack Song", or any other Monty Python song, or effect is countered.

Oh, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. - King Arthur

Submitted by Moonlore

Honest Urzas Used Artifact Lot - Land

Tap : Target Artifact is taken from graveyard and put directly into play, this artifact now has a cumulative upkeep of 2. If this is an Artifact Creature it will act as if was just summoned.

You get what you pay for. - Urza

Submitted by Admiral Christopher

Jungle - Land

Add WBRGU to your mana pool. This mana may not be used as colorless mana.

Submitted by Cole Bozman

Lance of Loser - Land

When cast, player loses the game and as further punishment must carry the tremendous burden of owning all the opponent's cards for eternities.

Nah, nah!--Mishra

Submitted by Amadeus

Mishra's Malevolent Mini-Mall - Land

All swamps and forests in play are destroyed.

"People always ask me why I can't sneak through forests anymore. And I always tell them- because there's no damn places left to practice!" - Jedit Ojanen, mercenary general

Submitted by Wolfrider St'ven

New York - Land

Tap to be mugged by player to your left.

New York, New Yooooooorrrrrrrrk!

Submitted by Jed Thurlow

Palace of Aliban - Land

9 colorless, Tap : Take up to 3 of opponents creatures and place them ON TOP OF Palace of Aliban.

Opponent flips a coin and you call it. If the flip ends up in your favor gain control of 1 creature. If opponent wins, tap Palace, and leave the remaining creatures on it. Continue until there are no more creatures on Palace or until opponent wins the flip. If Palace is tapped, it does not untap again for the rest of the game. During each players upkeep that there is a creature on Palace, it deals 4 (unpreventable) damage to that player. Any player may pay 7 (unprevenable) damage at any time to destroy Palace.

Ah! Not only the smell of rotting flesh, but of victory! - Knight of Aliban, Book Of Palace Horrors

Submitted by Steven Deobald

Parking lot - Land

Tap, X : Tap X creatures you control to put a X parking counters on parking lot. Creatures tapped in this way do not untap untill all parking counters are removed.

Tap, X : Tap X of opponents creatures.Remove all parking counters from parking lot. X equals the amount of parking counters on parking lot.

And finally when I realized that all the spaces where taken it was far to late to escape - Memoirs of a Driver

Submitted by Sam and Jason

Savannah, Georgia - Land

Add BG or BW to your mana pool w/ regular dual-land text.

The people of Savannah, Georgia are known for their Southern hospitality.

Submitted by Cole Bozman

Shadowy Abyss - Land

When Shadowy Abyss comes into play, remove from the game all non-land cards in play. During each player's upkeep, that player may tap all mana-producing lands he or she controls to return directly into play under their control any one card removed by Shadowy Abyss. If Shadowy Abyss leaves play, remove it from the game.

Submitted by Lucas Axtman

Slums of Pendrell Vale - Land

During each player's upkeep, bury the card in play that has the highest Cloister value.

You're not going to park your Ornithopter in THAT neighborhood, are you?

Submitted by Anonymous

Stadium - Land

All Sportsfan gain +1/+1, banding and trample.

Submitted by Michael Hilburg

Urza's Temple of Death - Land

Tap : Sacrifice one of your creatures to gain life equal to its casting or creating cost

Tap : Sacrifice one of your creatures to gain colorless mana equal to its casting or creating cost.

Tap : Sacrifice all your creatures to kill all of opponents creatures.

Submitted by Sam Screiber

War College - Land

Tap, X : Sacrifice a creature to make an X/X ledgend with banding Rampage:2 and Cumulative Upkeep:5. X equals the power and toughness of sacrificed creature added together and doubled.

And then,when he left,he was truly not himself anymore - Newspaper editor

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

ARTIFACTS

Alka-Seltzer - Mono Artifact [2]

1 : Bury target Sea Gull. This cannot be redirected or prevented in any way.

Submitted by Anonymous

Amulet of random effects - Mono Artifact [10]

Tap : Sacrifice Amulet of random effectand remove it from the game. All players reshuffle their hands into their libraries. All players count the number of permenents they have in play and draw that many cards from their libraries. All permenents in play are buried and all players get to put all their permenents from their hands directly into play.

... when I finished reading the inscription every thing had changed ...

Submitted by Eric Lefebvre

Bank of America - Continuous Artifact [2]

2 : Put a Money counter on the card. When You get a lots of money counter you become rich.

Submitted by Daniel Nagy

Beastmaster's Sword - Continuous Artifact [10RRRGGG]

All green creatures are immediaty put on you side and all red creatures are put on the opponent's side.All non-red-or-green creatures are taken out of the game.No black,white,gold,or blue summoning spells may be cast.

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Big Toilet - Mono Artifact [10 Colorless]

Comes into play tapped. Every turn it is untapped, put a flush counter on Big Toilet.

Tap : Sacrifice seven flush counters and Big Toilet to bury three target permanents.

The last thing he heard was a WOOOOSHHHHH. . .

Submitted by Justin

Big-Wheeled Truck - Mono Artifact [X5]

Put X gasoline counters on Big-Wheeled Truck.Remove a gasoline counter every time it becomes tapped.When it has no gasoline counters on it destroy it.

Tap : Give target creature trample,first strike,roadwalk,+5/+5 and Rampage:-5

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Cancel Moose - Artifact Creature [3] 0/2

Tap to destroy any SPAM that has been in play for at least one turn. Controller of destroyed SPAM takes X damage, where X is casting cost of SPAM.

Submitted by George Ruban

Can o Coke - Mono Artifact [1]

Tap : Give a creature a Caffeine counter. Treat this as a +2/+1 counter. If any creature ever gets 3 caffeine counters, it loses -100/-1000. If a creature dies in this way, remove it from game. If creature dies this way Place caffeine counters on you. If you ever have 20 or more caffeine counters on yourself, take damage equal to your life. This damage is colorless and cannot be prevented or redirected.

Submitted by King Richard Crainum II

Car - Mono Artifact [5]

Tap : Target creature gets Roadwalk and cannot deal damage untill Car is untapped.

2 : Untap Car. Once this ability is used car cannot be tapped again until end of turn.

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Chirac's Mess - Mono Artifact [0 Colorless]

Sacrifice Chirac's Mess to blow up the entire world in one big bang.

I blew up the world for fun & pleasure -- The Tales of Chirac, The Day After

Submitted by Anonymous

Coin of the Ages - Mono Artifact [5]

5, Tap: Flip a coin, if it lands heads up you win. If it lands tails up you loose.

Submitted by The Savidger

Couch Potato - Artifact Creature [1 potato] 0/40

Tap : Add 12 nachoes, 3 cokes, and 20 movies to you to eat while opponent figures out what the mana does.

Sacrafice it to puke on opponents library.

Submitted by Overload

Disk of Joy - Mono Artifact [3 Colorless]

Target opponent loses, and you win.

Have a nice day.

Submitted by Krillion

Dumb Ass - Artifact Creature [0] 99/99

Cast this and INSTANTLY trade every land in your deck for a non-land card in opponent's deck. Destroy all creatures, lands, and enchantments in play. Trample, first strike, rampage +10, protection from red, white, blue, black, green, flying; whenever damaged, put a +10/+10 counter on it, and whenever slays enemy creature, take control of creature.

Submitted by Anonymous

Eternal Atog - Mono Artifact [8 Colorless]

4 colorless, Tap : Target creature instantly becomes a basic Atog.

Those who trust their lives to trinkets always die... --Sarpadian Empires, Volume X

Submitted by Paul Dirkse

The Flying Circus - Continuous Artifact [5]

When the flying Circus is in play, every player except the controller of the Flying Circus must say a line from Monty Python's Flying Circus during his or her upkeep. If they fail to do so in 10 seconds, or use a line already said in this game, they suffer 2 damage. This loss of life cannot be countered.

And now for something completely different.

Submitted by Ronald Gravendeel

Generic Item - Continuous Artifact [1 Colorless]

Any player who speaks loses 5 life.

Submitted by Greg Lohman

Gold Digger - Mono Artifact [0 Colorless]

Force target player to pick his/her nose. If that player does not pick his/her nose, they concede the game.

OOOOOOOOOO!!! A BIG ONE!!! - Urza's First Find

Submitted by Bradley Fesi

Happyface - Continuous Artifact [8 Colorless]

While in play, all opponents must say "Djibu" and sing the Lumberjack song before doing anything. If the opponent refuses, they lose and must wear underwear on their head until controller of Happyface says they can take it off. Cannot be interupted or destroyed.

"Hail Happyface!"

Submitted by El Juno

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch - Mono Artifact [5 Colorless]

3, Tap : Destroy target bunny or target rabbit.

4, Tap : Target player who does not have a holy hand grenade in play is immediately eaten by a small rabbit with big, sharp pointy teeth, or he/she must concede the game.

"We have the holy hand grenade!"

"Of course! 'Tis one of the sacred relics brother maynard carries!"

Submitted by Joven

Hoser - Artifact Creature [10 Colorless] 1/1

Trample, Rampage 3

Can only be blocked by three or more creatures

ALAS WE THOUGHT IT WAS A CUTE CREATURE

Submitted by Patrick Jascot

Infernal Suitcases - Mono Artifact [WBRGU]

Comes into Play Tapped.

WBRGU, Tap : All players count number of cards in their Magic: The Gathering collection. Each player with over 1000 cards must randomly destroy 1/10th of their collection.

Excuse me, Mr. Suitcase, I'm only a beginner but. . .

Submitted by Paul Andrews

Jester Smello Socks - Mono Artifact [0]

Tap : Smell target opponents socks to put a sock counter on J.S.S.

Tap : Sacrifice a sock counter to have opponent smell your socks.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUU" - Jester(User)

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Keg - Mono Artifact [2 Colorless]

Tap to remove all non-white and non-artifact creatures from play until your next upkeep. Return them to play tapped.

Drinks are on the house

Submitted by Adam Cochran

Lab of Irthen - Mono Artifact [20]

Sacrifice Lab of Irthen to put a boom counter on each player.

Every turn boom counters do 2 damage to the player they are on.

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Land Fill - Artifact Creature [1 Colorless] 0/1

When Land Fill comes into play sacrifice 5 lands.

Tap : Destroy target Land. Land Fill gets +1/+1

Tap Sacrifice Land Fill to return all destroyed land into play under your control.

Submitted by Shawn Sedore

Librarian - Artifact Creature [3] 1/2

During your upkeep look at the top 2 cards of your library. You may then replace the 2 cards in any order.

Submitted by Chad McGowan

Lump of Nerf - Continuous Artifact [6 Colorless]

All cards in play that have at least one of the the following letters are buried: Q, Z, X, V, W.

Submitted by Cole Bozman

Lunatic Creation - Artifact Creature [7 Colorless] */*

When cast, bring a new magic deck into play with all current players controlling this beastly creation. This Creature has 20 hit points like a normal player. Attacks lowest hit point player with it's creatures. Never attacks or blocks.Power/toughness is */*, where * = hit points.

Submitted by Mark Wegner

Machine that goes "Ping" - Continuous Artifact [8 Colorless]

No creatures may go to the graveyard from play.

All hail the machine that goes "Ping".

Submitted by Cole Bozman

Map of Ith - Mono Artifact [0 Colorless]

Tap to make target creature untargetable by Maze of Ith until end of turn.

Submitted by Anonymous

Medusa - Mono Artifact [10 Colorless]

Tap : Stick to your forehead and shout "LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY!" All players who look at you during your turn suffer 9999999999 damage. Discard after you use this ability.

Submitted by Anthony Dharmasurya

Mine Field - Continuous Artifact [4 Colorless]

Whenever a non-flying creature attacks, Mine Field does 3 damage to it.

Submitted by Justin Epstein

Mox Jet Clone - Continuous Artifact [2 Colorless]

Tap : Add R to your mana pool

"No! You fool! Now everyone has one!" - Mishra

Submitted by Jeremy Widder

Nameless Weapon - Artifact Creature [12 Colorless] 12/15

Comes into play tapped.

Nameless Weapon may only attack once after summoning.

Trample, Rampage: 2, First Strike.

1 Colorless: Give Nameless Weapon +0/+1 until end of turn. Sacrifice Nameless Weapon to remove from the game all permanents in play and to deal its toughness in damage to all opponents.

Submitted by Corey Narsted

Oliver's Cap - Mono Artifact [3]

Sacrifice Oliver's Cap to force your opponent to do silly dance. If he don't want, you win the game.

Submitted by Olivier D'Amours

Padlock on the Suitcase - Continuous Artifact [0]

All cards in play not in the lastest revision of magic the Gathering, and the current expantion become tapped. No cards from previous expantions or editions may be cast while padlock is in play.

Submitted by Marc Shotter

Punch under the table - Artifact Interrupt [0 Colorless]

Interrupts target spell as it is being cast.

I cast bl.. ouch!!!

Submitted by Yngve S%F6derlund (When I got it, the name was garbled up)

Reality Check! - Mono Artifact [10 Colorless]

Everyone stops playing. The game ends in a draw. Everyone must then get a life. (There is no counter to this card)

Player1: I nearly won! Why did you do that?

Player2: Hey, it's only a game.

Player1: No! NOOO!!! I must keep playing!!!! I must win!!!!

Submitted by General Leo (MCL)

Ring of Clumsiness - Mono Artifact [4 Colorless]

Tap : Target creture deals it's power in damage to itself

"oops!, I dropped it..."

Submitted by Misha "Cheese" Gale

Rock - Artifact Creature [0] -9/-9

Cannot attack or block. If card is put into graveyard it deals you 19 damage. For all other puposes, this card is completely useless.

HA HA HA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAST ME!!!

Smaug - Continuous Artifact [0]

Tap to win the game

Submitted by Chris Sinsabaugh

Sweetness - Continuous Artifact [1]

When Sweetness comes into play bury all creatures you control.

All land you control may provide an additional mana of your choice.

Submitted by Brent Wilson

Thopterthopter - Artifact Creature [0] 0/1

As long as Thopterthopter is in play, all Ornithopters and Roterothopters gain +1/+1.

%$*#@& THOPTERS!!! - Doug, Mage for Hire

Submitted by Shaun Clayton

The Toaster - Mono Artifact [1]

During a person's upkeep they must sacrifice a card in their hand to the toaster. If they don't they must get down on both hands and knees and worship the toaster for one minute or lose 100 life. If they do either of the above they may bury one of target opponent's permanents.

Submitted by John Humphrey

T.V. - Continuous Artifact [10]

Tap all creatures for the rest of game.If a new creature enters play it is tapped for the rest of the game.

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Urza - Artifact Creature [5] 0/2

Urza's landswalk

If opponent has an artifact that has Urza in it's name Urza gains +5/+3 and Rampage:1.

Destroy Urza if it is the only card in play with Urza in the title.

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Urza's Bathtub - Mono Artifact [1]

Tap : Wash your hand.

Scrub-a-dub-dub! - Urza

Submitted by Eric Tyson

Urza's Pencil Sharpener - Mono Artifact [5 Colorless]

1: Sacrifice Urza's pencil sharpener to give target creature: trample, first strike banding, +4/+4, or rampage 2.

Submitted by Anonymous

Urza's Sacrifice producer - Artifact Creature [2] 2/1

Tap,5 : Put a 0/1 artifact creature into play that cannot attack or defend.

Tap,10 : Put a 0/1 artifact creature into play that cannot attack.

Submitted by Sam Screiber

Useless Card - Artifact Creature [0] 1/0

Does absolutely nothing.

Vault of Misfortune - Mono Artifact [7 colorless]

Tap this artifact to remove special ability requiring a tap symbol of target creature until end of turn.

Submitted by Dan

Wall of cardboard - Artifact Creature [0] 0/1

Target creature wall of cardboard blocks gains +1/+0 and trample.

Submitted by Bubba

Wand of stupidity - Continuous Artifact [2]

Tap to put a counter in your left ear.

Tap to put a counter in your right ear.

Sacrifice Wand of Stupidity to put a counter in your nose. Use this ability only when you have counters in both your ears.

Submitted by J'rgen Olsson

Windows 95 - Artifact [??]

Place five tokens on Windows 95 when it enters play. Whenever any one of your permanents becomes tapped, place a token on it. Anything with a token on it does not untap during your untap phase; instead remove a token on it. During your upkeep, remove a token from Windows 95. If Windows 95 is in play with no tokens on it, opponent may not cast any spells unless he/she also has Windows 95 in play.

from Mark Green's Posting to a MTG newsgroup. (Submitted by ArbataX)

Word 6.0 - Artifact Creature [$129] 20/20

Word 6.0 may not block or attack on the turn it comes into play or any other turn that it is in play. If it becomes tapped, it gets a -3/-3 counter. If a Word 5.0 or Word 4.0 is in play then tap Word 6.0 during your upkeep. If Word 6.0 is goes to the graveyard then gain 10 life. All of your creatures get -1/-1 counters while Word 6.0 is in play. If Word 6.0 is regenerated then controller takes 5 damage.

It was big, confusing, slow, and useless. We could only hope that it would be destroyed before it did any more damage. -The User

Submitted by Eric Callahan

GOLD

Barney The Dinosaur - Gold Summon [5BUGRW] 9/9

Trample,swampwalk,islandwalk,forestwalk,plainwalk,mountainwalk,rampage+9,first strike,banding

Cannot be blocked by creatures or walls.

Barney The Dinosaur may not be the target of spells or effects.

If Barney The Dinosaur damages target player, he has to sing the "I love you song"

Submitted by Jonathan Syu

Beer Elemental - Gold Summon [3RRR] 4/3

Tap : Put an +3/-2 intoxication counter on target creature. During creature's controller's upkeep, remove the intoxication counter and put a -2/-2 hangover counter on creature.

Whenever a player is damaged by Beer Elemental, he or she gains a beer counter. If any player ever has more beer counters than friends to laugh at them then they must fall unconscious.

The breath. I always remember the breath - renegade Whisky Angel

Submitted by Daniel Murray

Bob Villa - Gold Summon [3RG] 1/4

Summon Legend

Protection from blue

Tap : Look trough your library for an artifact and put it directly into play this artifact now has an upkeep of 2 plus any other upkeep cost it might already have.

"... on our next show, i'll show you how to build ..." - Bob Villa

Submitted by Eric Lefebvre

Bread Being - Gold Summon [2BUGW] 5/7

Flying, Trample

G : Gain permanent control of target Sea Gull.

U : Target Sea Gull you control gets +1/+2 until end of turn.

B : Target Sea Gull you control gets +2/+1 until end of turn.

BBUW : Target Sea Gull you control gets a permanent +3/+3 counter.

W : Bread Being counters target Alka-Seltzer.

Tap : All Sea Gulls you control get banding until end of turn.

Submitted by Anonymous

Corpse Collector - Gold Summon [BBU] 1/2

Tap to place any creature under Corpse Collector (under the card). Tap to bury any creature under Corpse Collector in target creature's owner's graveyard. If Corpse Collector is removed from play, all creatures under Corpse Collector are returned to their owners tapped and do not untap during their next untap phase.

"Bring out your dead!"

Decipher Card Game Maker - Gold Instant [3BBR]

Target Opponent Buys two Star Wars and Two Star Trek Starter decks and attempts to make halfway decent decks with them. If that player cannot, then he or she must give away any main characters found in those starters to you. That opponent then loses the game.

Submitted by David Weiss

Fly priests - Gold Summon [15] 20/20

Flying, Bands and First Strike

Upkeep : 5

1 : Put a spore counter on Fly Priests

0 : Destroy a spore counter to add a -2/-2 counter on Fly Priests.

Submitted by Jason Doyle

Insanity - Gold Instant [0]

All creatures go insane so they all attack their controllers.

"INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE, INSANE IN THE BRAIN!!!"

Invertion - Gold Enchant World [3BBRR]

Tap: Everything involved in game (cards,people,counters,etc.) are reversed. Card tougness,power,damage,etc. is reversed. People must stand on heads,cards are tapped the other way,damage and live-gaining is damage,etc.. This card can not be destroyed or countered by any other card. Invert is not affected by itself. If Invert is not followed, then player gets 5 damage that can't be redirected or countered. Damage is regular damage,not life.

"Ho on! Gnihtyreve si sdrakcab! Pleh!" - Mishra,Urza and the whole Dominia gang

Submitted by Max

Jesters Curse - Gold Interrupt [3URB]

Cast only when a player Jesters Caps you for the fourth time and then goes to cast Drafnas Restoration or reconstruction or Copy Artifact.

Destroy all permanents in play, Bury all land, All players must loose half of their life and the player must conceed to a full 3 hours of Noogie therapy.

Submitted by Alex Liddell

The Knights who say Nee - Gold Summon [5BUGRW] 4/8

Tap : Destroy target creature

G, Tap : Force target player to buy you a shrubery

U, Tap : Force target player to cut down a tree with a herring

Submitted by Julian Milner

Land Clump - Gold Sorcery [RBG]

Sacrifice all your permanents. Look through target opponent's library and rearrange the cards in any order.

@%*!!! Where's my LAAAND!

Submitted by Anonymous

Matematico, The Ancient One - Gold Summon [11 ???] 0/1

Ancient One can be brought back to play, no matter if He is removed from play.

Say sonny, when I was your age. . .

Submitted by David Fernandez

Merfolk Poison - Gold Interrupt [2UWX]

Counter Target Spell. Caster of target spell loses X life. X is the casting cost of target spell. This loss of life cannot be prevented by spells or effects that prevent or redirect damage. At the beginning of the next upkeep, draw one card.

Submitted by Joey Haché

Mikey - Gold Summon [4 Colorless, RB] 2/2

Tap to destroy any creature. Untap to gain Life.

Mikey will eat anything.

Submitted by Eric Callahan

Remove Hope - Gold Sorcery [50BRUGW]

Remove target player from the tournament. Remove this card from your deck if you are not playing in a tournament.

"Aiiii!!!"

Submitted by Collin Jackson

Shut up and playerator - Gold Enchant World [BR]

Any Player who argues will have his or herself beat up by all other players.

Submitted by John Chamberlain

Solar System - Gold Enchant World [BBUUWWGGRR2]

All creatures are placed on different planets.

"We are lost in space!!!"

Submitted by AAron Wilson

Song of REALLY-BIG Anoyance - Gold Enchant World [0 Colorless]

All players must begin to sing the most annoying song that they can think of. If one or more players sing the same song, they must immediatly sacrifice one land. If there are no lands left to sacrifice, put out a 10/10 SPAM counter. This counter cannot attack, defend, or be the target of any spell. If one opponent has more than 5 SPAM counters, the game ends and all cards are burned.

Submitted by Rob Johnson

SpitStorm - Gold Enchantment [2WWUU]

All of the regular Lands you control become Spit-Covered Lands, And all Spit-Covered Lands you controls become regular Lands.

Submitted by Anonymous

Static Electricity - Gold Enchantment [1RUG]

When Static electricity comes into play, choose a creature or land. Place a shuffle token on Static. If the target is a creature, target creature gets +1/+1 for every Shuffle token on static. If it is a land, the land becomes a Wall with X+3/X+3 X representing the number of shuffle tokens

"Hey, Look what i can do boss! Shocking!" - Quork, sorcerers apprentance, last words

Submitted by Nanowar

Thermonuclear Warhead - Gold Instant [1UGGRW]

When brought into play, Choose a player. If that player can not play the sabatoge cost (where sabotage cost is amount of life),that opponent is destroyed.If he/she can play it, choose a new opponent. if opponent cannot play sabatoge cost,he/she is destroyed . repeat until an opponent is destroyed.If in event all opponents can pay sabatoge cost,spell is discarded.

Submitted by Darwin, Divine leader of science and servent to Serra

Trade Deck - Gold Sorcery [BUGRW]

Trade seats, decks, and life points with target opponent.

Hahahahaha! I've got 102 life and you've got 2! Die! Die! Di. . .uh oh. . .--2nd place finisher at world Magic championship

Submitted by Darren Hewer

Unnecessary Roughness - Gold Instant [BBRRUU]

Punch target player in the face until he or she dies. No spells or effects may be used to counter this loss of life.

Submitted by Dan Osman

Wall of Saliva - Gold Summon [2WGBUR] 0/6

If a creature is blocked by Wall of Saliva, it will get grossed out and faint. Tap the creature for 4 turns then untap with 1 -1/-1 counter. You can untap early if you add 2 more -1/-1 counters on the creature.

Submitted by Jonathan Gibson

Wall of SPAM - Gold Summon [3 Colorless, RBW] 1/7

Wall of SPAM can be targeted by spells that target SPAM. Creatures blocked by Wall of SPAM do not untap as normal in oppenent's untap phase, he/she may pay 3 to untap one of their creatures affected by Wall of

SPAM.

SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM. . .

Submitted by Kyle Jewell

Wizard Hunt - Gold Sorcery [X 4 Colorless]

X is target player's life

Play to make target player a 0/X colorless creature who cannot attack.

KNOCK, KNOCK! "Who's there? What the...AARRGH!!" -Hapless Wizard

Submitted by Duncan Sinclair

Your Gonna hate this card - Gold Summon [RUGWB] 999/99

All other players must beat each other up. Protection from red, black, green, blue, white, gold, etc., Swampwalk, Forestwalk, Islandwalk, Plainswalk, Mountainwalk, Rampage: 10, Flying, Trample, Regeneration, First Strike. Sacrifice your gonna hate this card to win game and make all other players destroy their decks.

"Ahhhhh! Here it comes! Run!"--Urza, Mishra, Baron Sengir, Eron the Relentless, etc.

BLACK

Atog Lord - Black Summon [1B] 1/4

0 : protection from white until end of turn

0 : protection from red until end of turn

When atog lord comes into play sacrifice a permanent you own. Whenever Atog Lord uses one of the above special ability sacrifice a permanent you own. If Atog lord blocks a knight or cleric it gains +5/+0 and first strike until end of turn

Put a +1/+1 counter on atog lord for every atog you sacrifice using its special ability

"are you afraid? it's only an atog" - Sir gronus last words

Submitted by Ivan Tranquillini

Beast from the Sea - Black Summon [6 Colorless, BBB] 10/8

Trample, First Strike

Cumulative Upkeep: B and sacrifice a creature you control.

Then I stood on the sand of the sea. And I saw a beast rising up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his horns ten crowns, and on his heads a blasphemous name.

Submitted by Cole Bozman

The Big Bang - Black Instant [2 Colorless, B]

All cards in play are immediately destroyed. All players immediately reshuffle your graveyard into your deck and begin all over again with all life restored.

Submitted by Annie Somerson

Dark Lord of the Sith - Black Summon [5BBB] 5/5

Summon Vader

Tap : Destroy Target Creature unless that creature has Protection from the Force.

Creatures with Protection from Black may be targeted with this ability.

Submitted by David Weiss

Death Lodge - Black Enchantment [4B]

Each time target mana is tapped, opponent must put a card in graveyard of your choice.

Submitted by Nick Teaford

Death storm - Black Enchant World [BBBBB]

Send all creatures,artifacts,and lands out of the game.All players take 20 hits of colorless damage.All cards in players hands are sent out of the game.Graveyard is emptyed into trash can.

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Departure of the Browns - Black Instant [2BBB]

All Sportsfans in play gain +2/+2 and first strike.

Bury all sportsfans after all players have finished a full turn.

Discard all stadiums after all players have finished three full turns.

Submitted by Michael Hilburg

Despotic Spectre - Black Summon [2BB] 5/4

Flying.

Does not untap as normal during your untap phase. Bury a permanent under your control during your upkeep to untap Despotic Spectre. If Despotic Spectre damages opponent, opponent may discard one card at random from his hand to prevent the damage.

"Oops." -- last words of Mihsra, Arch Mage of Dyslexia

Submitted by Robert DeLoura

Diabolic Laugh - Black Instant [0]

Cast diabolic laugh only after one of the following events: Inflicting more than 20 points of damage to opponent in a single turn; countering a spell or twarting a strategy; destroying any permanant under opponents control. When cast you may laugh evily until the end of the turn and poke fun at your opponent if you wish. Draw a card at the beginning of the next upkeep.

Submitted by Jason Wells

Eternal Shade - Black Summon [B] 0/1

If Eternal Shade is put into the graveyard, return it to play under it's owner's control

The Eternal Shade is a sad, tormented spirit, doomed to infinitely cycle between the physical and spiritual planes. - Lim-Dul the Necromancer

Submitted by R.J. Dallinger

Final Exams - Black Enchant World [3 Colorless, BB]

For the next five turns, all players skip there untap phase and attack phase and can not cast any spells other than instants and interupts unless they sacrifice 10 life points. All players draw two aditional cards each turn. After the five turns, reshuffle Final Exams into library. Exams may not be disenchanted, countered, or removed from the game.

No more screwing around, no more games, no more social life. It's time to study. YOU ARE MINE! --Dolphbaloch, Demonic Schoolmaster

Submitted by Andy Ng

Fist of the North Star - Black Summon [4BBB] 5/5

Rampage : 5

Only enchantments can target Fist of the North Star.

Tap : Let's one card start talking again

Tap : Plant a seed.

"That's right! In fact, you're already dead!" - Kenshiro, the Fist of the North Star

Submitted by Sig

Harbingers of Death Black Enchant World [6BBBBBB]

During each players'upkeep, place a -1/-1 counter on each of his/her creatures. Players may pay 3 to remove a counter from one creature.

With each step, we could feel our lives slipping away. . .

Submitted by Jason Umfleet

Hoard of Carnivorous Balls - Black Summon [4BBB] 0/2

Tap : Whenever a instant or interupt is succesfully cast pay one life to give balls +1/+1

Tap 2BB : Put a copy of The Hoard of Carnivorous Balls into play. Treat them as an exact copy of the original.

A damn fissure would'nt even swallow up those...things!"- Balthasar, Anaba Shaman

Submitted by Kris Clewell

IRS - Black Sorcery [B X]

Tap all opponents mana...permanently...

Submitted by Chuck

Killer Cow - Black Summon [BBBBB] 10/13

Trample.

Any creature that takes damage from Killer Cow is put into any graveyard.

Leip Frogs - Black Summon [3BB] 3/3

B: +1/+1 until end of turn

BB : gain flying until end of turn

1 : protection from black until end of turn

This card is dedicated to my friend Jonathan Leipman and he likes frogs

Submitted by David Chang

Lim-Dul's Swarm - Black Enchantment [2BB]

All plains now produce colorless mana.

If Lim-Dul's Swarm leaves play, you must

sacrifice one land of your opponents choice.

Pay BB during your upkeep or destroy Lim-Dul's Swarm.

"...and then the swarms came, and the fields were barren." - Memoirs of a Farmer

Submitted by Dan Tran

MindWave - Black Enchantment [BBB]

Any time an opponent taps a land, they must tap a creature that they control, and vice versa. The Land or Creature they are forced to tap does not carry out it's abilities as normal.

Submitted by Matthew Morrison

Mine Field - Black Enchant Land [X, B]

Tap : When attacked all blockers and attackers take 10 damage.

When land is tapped, it does 5 damage to owner.

Mind Warp - Black Interrupt [4BBBBB]

One per deck. Cast when attack is made, before defense is chosen to have all opponent's creatures attack their controllers. Other cards may be played to alter strength/toughness of creatures. Mind Warp is not removed from game, but simply put in graveyard.

Submitted by Brannon Eldridge

Murderous Rage - Black Sorcery [3BBBBB]

Destroy All Cards you really REALLY hate and After That, Win Game!

No Better, Take over your country!Even Better, Take Over the World!

Submitted By Pinky And the Brain

Pay Day! - Black Enchant World [5BBBBB]

All creatures get a upkeep of 10 added to their origional upkeep(If they had one).

Submitted by Sam Schreiber

Pine Cone - Black Enchantment [2B]

Tap, BB : Put a seed token into play. Treat this token as a basic forest. This counts toward your one land per turn.

Submitted by Chad McGowan

Rats of the Black Vise - Black Summon [9B] 6/5

[1B] : destoy target creatre or encantment

[4B] : destoy target artafact

Submitted by Anonymous

Sengir's Child - Black Summon [2BB] 0/1

When Sengir's Child comes into play it gains the abilities of any creature in play which has Sengir in it's name. During your upkeep put a +1/+1 counter on Sengir's Child. The power and toughness of Sengir's Child cannot exceed that of the targeted creature.

Submitted by Chad McGow

Singing Moron - Black Enchantment [2 Colorless]

Target creature is buried unless owner sings "I'm a little teapot" at the top of their lungs and does the dance.

Submitted by Dan Negus

A Walk In The Park - Black Enchant Creature [BBB]

When A Walk In The Park comes into play destroy all forests in play if you live in a city. Target Creatury gains forestwalk. If a forest is put into play from someone's hand then destroy the creature enchanted buy A Walk In The Park.

Submitted by Chad McGow

What did you say? - Black Enchantment [2BB]

You can pretend not to hear the others players until they threaten to kill you. At this point, you gain X life, X being the number of times they have had to repeat themselves.

These young folks, I can't hear a word they say. - Alberto the Annoying

BLUE

Air Sickness Bag - Blue Instant [U]

Target creature with flying may attack the turn it comes into play.

Submitted by Chad McGowan

Bath - Blue Enchantment [12U]

Suspends all play until caster goes to have a bath in order to relieve boredom brought by endless campaigns.

Submitted by James Curry

Color Blind - Blue Enchant World [B3]

Cumulative Upkeep: B

Ignore all color words (Red, White, Black, Green, Blue) on cards in play and those being cast. Restrictions and bonuses no longer apply while Color Blind is in play. This does not affect artifacts.

Ignorance is bliss

Submitted by Ken Folsom

Counter Counter - Blue Interrupt [U]

Counter target spell which counters a spell.

Aaaaaaah! Too confusing!--Beginning Magic player

Submitted by Darren Hewer

Department Of Funny Walks - Blue Enchant Creature [4B]

Target non-flying creature you control gains funnywalk.

I wasn't even drunk... - Chon Cleez, member of Monty Pyton's Walking Circus

Submitted by Anonymous

Expectoration - Blue Instant [U]

Add UUU to your mana pool.

Submitted by Matt Dubno

Fake Magic Card Designer - Blue Summon [UUU] 1/3

Sacrifice and Download One Fake Magic Card Off The Internet And Put It Into Play.

Submitted by Kyle Hatfield

Invert - Blue Instant [1U]

Change all plus signs (+) on target card to minus signs (-), and vice versa.

Pay an additional 1 if target is a permanent.

"Hmm. That's not quite what I had in mind..."

Submitted by Rob Fackler

Mana Jump - Blue Enchantment [4UU]

2 : Add 1 mana to target player's mana pool..

Submitted by Eric Tyson

No - Blue Interrupt [UU]

Counters target interrupt or instant. No can not be the target of spells or effects.

No more I tell you, no more!

Submitted by Darren Hay

Orbital Force - Blue Enchantment [3UU]

During each of your upkeeps, place a counter on Orbital Force. To remove a counter, tap 1 Mana. For each counter that is removed, one Creature that opponent controls is tapped. You choose the Creatures to tap. The Creature that is forced to tap does not attack, it just taps.

Submitted by Matthew Morrison

Order of the Black Vice - Black Summon [1B] 0/1

Summon Artificer

First Strike, Trample, Rampage : 1

Tap : Deal Target opponent 1 damage for each card in their hand in excess of 4

Tap : Sacrifice Order of the Black Vice to put an Atog token into play. Treat this token as a 1/2 red creature with the ability : 0 - Sacrifice an artifact to give it +2/+2 until end of turn.

Tap : Sacrifice Order of the Black Vice to put an Ornithopter Token into play. Treat this token as a 0/2 flying Artifact Creature.

Submitted by David Weiss

Pinky - Blue Summon [2U] 0/2

Tap : Sacrifice Pinky to remove any Brain card in play.

-NARF!- I think so Brain, but, where are we going to find rubber pants our size? - Pinky

Submitted by James Callicott

Sea Gull - Blue Summon [2UU] 2/2

Flying

Tap : Sea Gull does 1 damage to any target. If the target is a creature, it does not untap as normal during the controller's next untap phase.

Submitted by Anonymous

Soar - Blue Instant [U]

Target player gains flying ability until end of turn.

Submitted by Justin Epstein

Timewalk II - Blue Instant [UU]

On the next turn your opponent loses.

We called up Wizards of the Coast and they said they meant it this time. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

Submitted by Eric Callahan

Tim's Evil Twin Brother - Blue Summon [UUUUUUUUU] 1/1

Trample, Protection From Red.

During your upkeep, put a counterspell counter on Tim's Brother.

Tap : Remove 3 counterspell counters to counter target spell. Play this ability as an interrupt.

Tap : Prevent 1 damage to target Tim's Evil Twin Brother or target Prodigial Sorcerer.

Tap, UU : Regenerate Target Black Creature.

Tap, UUUUU : Counter target effect. Play this ability as an interrupt.

Tap, XX : Add X black mana to your mana pool.

Submitted by David Weiss

Warp Reality - Blue Instant [3U]

Tap to turn card sideways.

Submitted by Anonymlus