If anything, you just brightened my day.
Okay, so I've been on this mill a for a couple years now, and I know that not only is great Magic Advice given here but also advice on life....so here's my scenerio, and please don't just erase this post, I need the help:
Alright, so all throughout highschool I make no friends, don't party, don't smoke, don't drink, almost quit Magic (God Forbid!) All because of a girl I fell in love with. After 3 years together I decided to ask her to marry me at prom, she's going to a college 25 minutes away (commuting) I'm sticking to the one in town. So, anyway, 2 weeks before prom, she tells me shes going to prom with another guy. ouch. So she breaks up with me and is still with this other guy. I more or less have a nervous breakdown. Finally after 9 months of being apart, i found this great girl in college named "New Chic" (for reasons of mine, no name mentioned). Now comes the good part. When things go bad for me they really go bad. First I find out I'm fired from my college jobn cause a union full time worker wants it, and I'm S.O.L. Then I'm failing Calculus and Chemistry (Pharmacy Major), so I have to drop those two classes or risk failing my freshmen year. Then, today, I check my e-mail and have 2 whole messages. i was feeling kinda special since I usually get 0 messages a day. Well, one is from "Coulda been wife/ex girlfriend" and one is from "New Chic". Wow! I think, this is kool. So i read the one from "ex Chic" "Thanx for getting "new boy friend" (leave out name for reasons) to hook up with me, he's so much better a boyfriend than you in all ways". Yep, that one sux. Then i read the one from "New Chic"..."You seem to still be depressed about Amy, i just want to be friends" (gotta love the whole "lets just be friends" thing huh?)....so here's my situation in short, outta job, failing college, not sure what i want my major to be, single and lonely, and I hooked up my possible wife with a guys who's "better than me in all ways"....so what should i do? You guys here are great, thanx for everything you give.
Wow, that sucks.
If anything, you just brightened my day.
Sorry, I'd like to give advice here, but I decided there's a topic further down I'd rather be with.
.....
Just Kidding.
Life gets harsh that way sometimes. The best advice I can give you is not to let things build up like this. If you start keeping score (this happened AND this happened AND this happened) , then it is easy to fall into depression and self pity. The job thing sounds like a bummer, but does not sound like a rejection of you, but bad luck. So you should be fairly optimistic about finding a new job (and they'd better give a damn nice reference). The school thing is tough, but if you talk to your academic counsellors they may be able to find you a path of least resistance to get back on track. Focusing on your schoolwork for a while should be therapeutic anyway.
As for the woman situation, Im not exactly the smoothest character out there, but it seems to me that Girl #1 is someone you are better off without (it is easy to become dependant on a relationship when it forms your whole social circle like that, but you need to evaluate whether you really cared that much about her). I wouldnt worry about her email either. When she dumps the new guy some day, here next boyfriend will be better than him in all ways in her own mind (even if it's you again, but she seems nasty, so I hope it's not).
As for girl #2, it sounds like she still genuinely likes you. Try to seperate your anger about this from your previous relationship. Unless she is using Amy as an excuse to try dating someone else, you probably still have a shot there too. Nothing makes a relationship seem more meaningless than having your partner still hung up on a former romance. Girl #2 probably feels like she's your backup option. If you can show that your interest is in her, and that you are over girl #1, she may even take you back at some point. Even if she doesnt, having a friend you can talk to and hang out with is never a bad thing, and staying friends will help you keep from being bitter about the relationship in the long term (plus it makes you look a lot more mature, which is important if she has pretty friends).
Good luck, and don't let life get you down. Knock these things off one at a time and don't get paranoid. A positive outlook is especially important for your classes and work, so don't bring your relationship baggage into that arena.
I won't say a thing about your romantics...
But I agree with Nevyn about school and your job. If you can find a consellor/teacher/advisor/janitor who can figure out what you can do and how you can get there, with a bit (or a lot) of work, I'm sure you can get there. I've never met you, and I can see that you're a great and smart person.
Good luck.
Saltz
How old are you?
Well, I prolly don't have the life experience that a lot of people have but I can give a little advise. What's going good for you? Whatever it is, go with it and get the most out of it. Don't let stuff drag you down so much. You're single? Go to some parties, have some fun-you'll probably meet someone else you're really into.
well i have been in a similar but less painful situation. Through public school i hung out with a group of friens but at about g7, me and one other guy outgrew the rest in maturity. We were real tight and things were fine until highschool when we went to different ones.
Now here's the thing. For the first three months i floated between social groups but never had a friend as close as he was, so never really put any effort into it. Like you i wasn't sure how to go about making new friends, not having had to for three years. Then i releized to have a good friend i'd have to get to know someone, so i picked a group i liked and threw everything i had at it.
I'm not going to lie to you i was disheartened many times and gave up twice, and it took quite a while, but once we got to know each other we became quite close and suddenly life was good. (no you cynics it was NOT a loser mob, it was one of the groups held in the highest social esteem in my grade)
The point of this is twofold, first, you really need a group of friends they are the support and laughs that get you through the thick of life, and second don't put all your eggs in one basket. Looseing your friends over Amy was a mistake you need them now.
Give your new friends and Chic 2 all your effort and things will be much, much easier.
-Liam
Hum... my advice?
Move to San Diego!
All the girls here are hot as hell, and are easy!
And there is such a huge variety of women, there is more than one to fit your wants. Personally I like alot of the Latino women, and the fillipino. I always liked brunets to blondes anyways.
I wouldn't want it any other way
And that first chick was a biotch man, she could at least have the common decency to not say he's better than you. You don't need and shouldn't want her. Your better than her, and just block her email.
Also remember that there ARE more then 2 women on this mudball of a planet. And you shouldn't be so effected by them. Don't get so attached to the women you date, just go out with them to have a good time, and don't worry about if they want to marry you. Live each day one day at a time, you might scare them away by trying to be so committed. Not everyone wants a long comitted relationship.
I dunno, I'm rambling now....
My only advice is to keep your shoulders up and not hide on this bulletin board.
Okay, step into my office and lie down on the couch. You're about to see why I try to NOT give advice to teenage students.
You're (I'm inferring) 18 or 19 since you just started college. You are absolutely insane to ask someone to marry you at such an age. This (high school kids throwing marriage around) is such a huge pet-peeve of mine, BTW, that I avoid teaching _Romeo and Juliet_ in school in favor of _Othello_.
Relationships are like people--good or bad every one of them dies in the end. All relationships except the last one you have (which escapes only though death) are eventually doomed to failure. Thus don't be overly bummed when they don't work out. What would your relationship with ex-girlfriend "working out" entail? Ah, a totally premature marriage which would allow neither of the participants the opportunity to develop as people.
What I'm getting at relationships are not meant to "work out" in any sort of permanent sense. You stay in one place until it's A) no longer a good place B) no longer possible or feasible to do so C) no longer provides you with opportunity to grow.
It looks like you're violating all of these rules. You're ex seems to enjoy taunting or hurting you--obviously not a good place so why are you thinking about her? Why should you feel anything but the most blase curiousity at seeing her name in you email inbox?
At the time you both entered college it was no longer feasible to carry on a relationship. For one thing you're both going to be around 5,000-20,000 new people. Secondly there is a minor distance issue which makes the previous felt more sharply. Thirdly, whether you thought it was the greateat relationship in the world is irrelevant--she no longer wants to be with you, so forget her. Maybe she has genuine issues with things that you did, maybe she's just a bitch, or maybe the two of you just don't work together (or no longer do as you both change and develop). Take your pick.
Lastly (C) this is a period of major development. In a year both of you might be totally different people. It seems not only impossible or unrealistic to hold on to a relationship underthese circumstances but counterproductive.
I would tell the other new girl, "Ex-girlfriend who?" (although you actually have to mean that. You can't go into a new relationship with expectations/standards/comparisons/etc. drom an old one) the next time you see her. Date her if possible, but don't push things--if she really wants to just be friends (as opposed to her just saying that because she notices you're not quite alright yet). If she does say no don't sweat it--you're in college and surrounded by females your own age.
So go out with her and don't expect that one to work either. In a any type of relationship with anyone you're only there for a limited amount of time. Accept it, make the best use of the time you have, and have as many good shared experiences as possible. Everything you do helps you develop. Most of the time the "bad" experiences are those that contain nothing new and thus don't help you learn or change.
Try to be cautious about jumping into commitment--I'd say at least 7/10 of the time it's the wrong move. Commiting yourself not only can preclude you from partaking in valuable experiences, but cheapens the overall value of your commitment when it's one of the 3/10.
Otherwise try moving to San Diego and see if what Razor says is true.
--Matt
Thanx a lot all you guys. I am going out tonight ( no classes tomorrow and all) Um, yeah I am only 18, and now I understand the whole "stupidity of marriage at such young an age", but then it seemed perfect, and that fact that we were both going to colleges within 1/2 hour of eachother made it seem like it was going to work. Obviously, yes, Amy was just trying to hurt me. I'm a fool, what can I say? Thanx a lot all you guys. Just one surprise though, Azhrei had nothing to say. funny Well, I'll try to keep the good spirits up, just hope my house doesn't burn down or something next LOL. I just need to chill and have fun. Its just weird trying this dating thing after being in a steady relationship for 3 years, you know? Some people just don't understand that i need a little time to. thanx a bunch again you guys are great.
>>>Just one surprise though, Azhrei had nothing to say. funny
He may have something to say now, if only to provide a counter point to me somewhat libertine viewpoints. In which case J.P. will jump in with something about pumping Morphling's ass and it's all downhill from there...
Three years IS a long time by any standards, but especially if you consider that one year of an adolescent's life is like 5 years. In fact I think I started to come to some of these conclusions after I (then in college) ended a relationship that was over two years old. I would say a long relationship and ending a long relationship are two valuable experiences to have under your belt at such an age.
--Matt
I'm not *always* on here, you know! I have classes and so forth.
I was in a somewhat serious relationship that ended a while ago that went on for about three years. I was madly in love with this girl, but during the course of being at different colleges she changed a lot and became very confused about herself and a lot of things. We broke up because of this eventually, but we still had and have very strong feelings for one another as friends-- love without being *in* love, I suppose. Recently, she finally came to terms with herself and is genuinely happy with who and where she is for the first time in maybe forever. After everything that has happened between us (a lot of it great, a lot worse than I care to share or recall), we both know that being together isn't a good idea-- she doesn't want to risk falling back into her old patterns, and I don't want her to become unhappy again either. Six years of friendship and three years of dating later, I am very, very proud of her for all that she has done for herself, but that is all I can be. Relationships change and grow, and some end completely. Right now we are growing as friends only, but we are still growing as people because of each other-- the only time that you have cause to be concerned is when you stop growing. Stagnation is your only real enemy. The past is the past. You can learn from it or drown in it.
It sounds to me like you have a nice girl who wants to be with you if you're willing to be with her. What was the problem again?
BTW, most freshman don't know what they want their major to be. Try fleshing out the gen eds before you start to specialize and see if anything catches your fancy. You're 18 years old-- you don't have to know everything yet. In fact, as much as you'll hate to hear this, in a couple years you'll wake up and realize that at 18 you don't know anything really. And at 25 you say the same thing about 21, and at 30 about 25, and so forth.
consider these. They are very serious statements trying to be funny;
if you are failing/not interested in calculus/chemistry,
I suggest physics
(jobs: quality control technician, preparing the apocalypse of millions)
or art
(jobs: painting, trying to take over the world -ie: hitler)
Whatever you do, I've got to stress that you do what is necessary to stay in college. Why:
1) You need a college degree in SOMETHING to ever get a "real" job (not something a 16 year old high school kid could beat you out of). Holding down a job can, at times, be a self-confidence booster. Also it shows maturity, and I hear the ladies like that.
2) You'll have an excuse to be around, and talk to, thousands of women. Need I say more?
I've been dating that girl for about 2 years and a half and then we decided to break the relationship as we both knew this was getting nowhere (she's a traveller and I'm a geek).
We kept in good terms though and I can say now that she's a much better friend than girlfriend (I mean, we get along very nicely now).
I was single for about 9 months (and enjoyed it) and tried to find someone else. However, after a while, I came to a point where there was nobody left on my "might be interesting" list.
That's when I met my girlfriend. :-)
You know, we all have some ideas about the perfect girl. After I broke up with the first girl, I didn't really know what I wanted, but I knew what i didn't want. Don't worry, you'll find someone that matches you. Everybody does (or so).
As for school, I've changed my mind so often... you're not alone.
Things will always suck sometimes, you just have to deal w/ the problems life poses you, overcome them, and make the most of the situation. It sounds like you have a girl who really does have an interest in you and is concerned for your welfare. Be patient with it and enjoy college. Whomever mentioned earlier about the importance of that piece of sheepskin (and I'm not talking about condoms, but I guess that would be lambskin) is absolutely correct. Even though I'm not doing anything remotely close to my major (major in Pol Sci, minor in Religion) I would not have the job I do now w/o the diploma. Women are difficult if not impossible to understand or comprehend (much like why someone would ever want to play BBS) but unlike BBS we would be lost w/o them. Chill, have fun, and drink Bass.
The above advice on relationships seems solid. As for the failing chem and calculus, that could be your being bummed out affecting your study habits and ability to focus on reasonably difficult subjects.
But some people find that they have a really hard time with math and science that uses lots of math once the math reaches a certain level of complexity. For me it was around second or third semester calc and looking at other people's second year physics homework that really got me to switch from physics to pol.sci. and philosophy.
If you work on developing some marketable skills a liberal arts degree isn't necessarily a ticket to poorsville, although you might make less than engineering or phamacy grads.
While in grad school (in pol.sci.) I was able to get jobs later doing research, office stuff, and later desktop publishing/tech writing as well as the obvious one of teaching.
So, 1) after getting out of your current slump you still have a hard time with higher math, and 2) you're sure the hard time is not simply due to failing to put in the above average amount of time required for those classes, then 3) maybe think about changing majors.
"if you are failing/not interested in calculus/chemistry,
I suggest physics "
Um, calculus IS physics. That doesn't work.
Just go into Computer Programming man, it's were all the future job's are at, it's easy, and starting pay out of a Bachelors Degree is around 50-60k. And within a few years can easily reach 90k+.
It's a very low stress profession, and you get to sit in an air-conditioned office playing tetris all day (well, not really...). And depending on what company you work for, it could be really really fun. Take Blizzard Entertainment for instance, you get to progam games, and get alot of money if the game becomes successfull ontop of an already huge salary.
But maybe I'm bias because I like computers and have grown up on one basically (dad is a programmer).
Dont buy into the computers sales pitch there .... Im a programmer.
The industry is getting jammed up so unless you are very good at programming and have high grades dont expect 50-60k to start.
The more it get's jammed, the more people break off and form there own companies. The secret is haveing experience. The first thing an interviewer asks is "have you had any prior experience". They couldn't give a shit about if you aced all of your clases with A+++++'s and were the top of your class. They want people with experience outside of the classroom. You absolutly must start interning for a company while in school, it gives a huge edge if you have already had 1+ year of experience over the next guy who got straight A's, but has nothing outside of his schooling.
There are so many people trying to go along with the whole computer hype thing, but they really have no passion for it, and are just on the band wagon. If an interviewer looks at 10+ resumes, what is gonna make your's stand out from everyone elses? Experience!
Currently my Dad is Vice president of the company he works for and he interviews alot of potential employees and tell's me what the industry is looking for, and that there is a huge need for computer related jobs out there.
Who do you work for Nevyn?
>>>Stagnation is your only real enemy.
Holy crap, Az we agree philosophically on something now. I'm frightened...
AND for the last time I'm telling you all: there is no future in computers. Computers and this internet foolishness are just fads like the yo-yo, skateboard, leisure suits, etc.
--Matt
All I can say on this is that it will get better. Life is, in that way, like a maniac depressive. In another year you will probably find that you are a lot happier. (Of course, a year is a long time, except in retrospect.)
Sort of like what I had last year - not as bad, but comparable.
Last year, I was running on crosscountry, but was not very good at it. I was doing badly in my classes. At high school I felt like I had no friends. I didn't know anyone. In short, I was miserable.
But now, things are looking better. I'm top of the JV crosscountry team and will probably be on Varsity in track. I like my classes more, and have a lot of friends. (I did lose my girlfriend however - that is a very bad feeling.)
You will be happy again. You can be happy now, if you view only the big picture - where you will be in several years time - and the small things, such as classes.
Matt D'Avanzo - Prophet Legend
when - this - comes into play all creatures with creature type Azhrei get +1/-1
after several long term relationships & having been w/ numerous women, i recently got married & still dont understand my wife! also, after undergrad & post-graduate degrees & doctoral course wrk i still dont know wtf i wanna do! relax. i think overall the fellas here have given you some solid advice. Matt's right about these being formative yrs, (no offense) but you've got alot of growing up to do. i suggest putting the ex behind you, it'll be hard but its something that you have to do 1st & foremost, deal w/ it. once you get your head on straight you need to get a handle on the school thing. Az was right, stick to the gen ed's & go w/ what interests you. i've found that ppl tend to generally do worse in those classes that dont interest them. did you just pick pharmacy as a major b/c you thought it wud be cool or for the $$? "that which glitters is not always gold" nxt thing you know, you'll have found someone new. hell i met my wife in mcdonald's of all places! there's no need to rush into anything, being single isnt the end of the world. besides, until you get yourself back on track you arent going to be any good to anybody else. your schooling is the most important thing right now, all the other shit will fall into place. peace
mike
You learn from experience, that's what life is for. Pick yourself up whenever you fall, it makes you hardier and better prepared for life's challenges. I am sure that is what everyone here is advising you.
.. "Experience is a hard teacher, she lets you feel the pain, then the lesson .."
Myself, i was out of job for a year ... a long hard year, due to economic conditions .. lost many of my friends because of a woman too ...
well, hang in there pal ... i got my first job in a large publishing house ( i even got to lead and manage a team, talk about a break!) ... won back my friends ... you have to take the initiative !! ")
Find a job you are interested in and work towards it ..
Friends are very important, cherish them.
Women are trouble. Cherish them too .. ")
And, i am not sure many will agree or not, it is quite unwise to give 100% to a woman unless the other party can do the same ..
Maybe this will make you feel better:
Ive been outta work for 8 months or so and there doesnt seem to be much work out there for my field right now(graphic design) so im considering going back to school. And let me tell you: I HATE SCHOOL!!! Plus, you think you got bad luck with women? In my entire life(im 22) ive been in love with two girls...both of which just want to be friends. Believe me, i feel ya buddy, and i wish i could give some sage-like advice but im more of a basket-case than anyone on this mill so i will refrain. All i can say is even though you probably dont feel like it right now, you WILL find someone whos perfect for you eventually-just be patient and everything will work out for you man.
Well, the only girl i have ever really loved turned out to not only be suicidal, but in love with one of my best friends.
I hope that made ya feel better
//Zanethian
"Holy crap, Az we agree philosophically on something now. I'm frightened..."
So we agreed on something. All that does is prove you're not an idiot. :P
No sadly, but it does give strong supporting evidence that you are insane.
--Matt
Germans say: "Something which does not kill you, makes you stronger."
"So we agreed on something. All that does is prove you're not an idiot. "
I agree.
SarcasticExistence is right: "That what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
At the moment it stings but after a while you'll be "happy" that it happened because you learnt an important life lesson.
*I'm* not crazy! You're the one that's crazy!
(foil Goblins of the Flarg to anyone who knows why that's funny)
And it's not "Germans" who say that; it's anyone who is familiar with Nietschze, whose name I just spelled wrong.
germans say this?
i thought this phrase comes from the US
hmm, "was mich nicht umbringt macht mich stärker".
nietzsche should have written this?
but i only know "also sprach zarathustra" and "beyond good and evil". maybe he wrote it in another work, or i forgot it.
Wow, SerraCollector. Sounds like my day, except I can't find a job in the first place 
Listen to Matt. He's right, even if we don't want to believe it.
Not that this helps or anything, but here's a little joke that might make you smile
Here's a proof that girls are evil.
We all know that girls require time and money, so
Girls = Time * Money
Now we know that Time is Money, so
Girls = Money * Money
We also know Money is the Root of all evil.
So, Money = (Square Root)Evil.
Girls = (Square Root)Evil * (Square Root)Evil
Therefore Girls = Evil
Ah, flashback to my college Ethics class taught by Dominicans (the Monoastic order, not the people of the Dominican Republic mind you). The entire course's Nietzche discussion consisted of:
"Nietzche was crazy and got put in an assylum so we don't need to listen to anything he said. So anyways, back to St. Augustine..."
You could almost feel hear him rolling over in his grave. And people wondered why I cut so many classes.
--Matt
this may sound shallow and shit but I was the a real fun guy in college. I joined the rugby team as a freshman and learned how to score mad random chicks at the bar. after a year that got real old I developewd a strong relationshiop with this girl kelly whome I dated for 3 years before moving in with her. she just started her first year of law school. after 1 year living together she dumped me. she became so ambisious and wanted to live in the center of the city, I did not.
I still have a hard time calling her my ex but I have reverted back to goin out to bars and picking up random chicks that seem cool.
so go out be a poser for a little while work on your game. It will make the hurt of one girl go away. you are on a new chapter of your life you must evolve and meet the present situation.
go you get a new hair-cut, pick up a new hobby (where there are girls involved. )I took up building sets for the drama club. There are lots of ladies to chose from in finding that ms right ot that ms right now, whatever you are looking for)keep your ears open to rummors do not activly spread them and do not act to interested. a simple line like what is her story will get you more than you want to hear. choose you friends well.
in short do something in wich you are interacting with both men and women. they are both different creatures yet equally simple to figure out after spending some time in the enviromet as an objectve observer.(objectibve is key do not lock your self into a click with in the group in the first week. be stand offish and join the group that you want to be part of) do not join the battle of the sexes because masagenists do not get laid and women sympathizers becoming honerary girlfriends to chicks and scorn by men. neither are good.
oh yea magic is not the place to meet girls.
get a hair cut, get a new look, and you will feel like a different person. when people see you differently you will see yourself differently.
so all of those fanticies of you being whatever can be lived to the fullest. just look the part and put yourself in the situation where those events will arise and there you go.
you want to get into a fight go to a rough bar you want to get laid go to where girls are drinking
you just have ot look like you belong there and sooner or later you will feel like you belong.
there is lag time between what you are and what have been and what you will be. let me end with a quote from heidegar
you live in the present, to create a past, that will propell your future.
I hold those words close to my heart. as I am going from a kid who got kick out of college for parting too hard not bad grades. I grauated with a 2.7 in philosophy and sociology while doing mad drugs, to my new future of being a dentist. I have not gotten less than a 94 and this is the 5 week.
rock it be brave and do what you think is right. we all have shit weeks my truck got stolen and I got sent to a new job assignement a shitty one the same week my girl dumped me so it goes upa and it goes down. be resiliant and be what ever you want to become.
well, the last eleven years of fritz' life weren't very bright (after a serious mental breakdown from which he never recovered).
but before this, he was brilliant
and is nowadays abused by nazis, fascists and other scum.
nietzsche was no anti-semite (while most others in those time were), and he appreciated the french culture. and he was no german nationalist.
so i wonder how german fascists (and other ones) derive the right to abuse his philosphy. he might have been a chauvi, but, whatever.
subhuman compared to übermensch
You'll get no argument from me--he was brilliant.
I think most (as you so named them) scum that appreciate his philosophy are more Hitler-adorers than Nietzche-scholars. I know I'venever come across an intelligent skinhead...although it could just be chalked up to accumulated brain damage from getting into fights every two seconds.
--Matt
you have to suffer from significant brain damage to become a skinhead anyway
ever noticed that they all dress the same 'cuz they want to be different?
-Liam
My favorite is how after he went insane from the syphilis that his sister would dress him up and tie him to a chair and charge people admission to see the great Nietzche.
It's Nietzsche (I'm going to be doing my doctoral dissertation on the subject, so I feel more than qualified to add my .02 euros).. for those of you who don't know how to pronounce it, his name rhymes with 'pizza' :: Neetzcha.
He certainly wasn't an anti-semite or a german nationalist, but no one who knows anything about him would dispute that today. Check out Kaufmann's seminal 'Nietzsche: Antichrist something something,' for a thorough survey.
And the quote is actually.
'Was mich nicht sterbt, mich staerkt.'
What doesn't kill me, stregthens me, -- to take the most literal view of the translation, if certainly not the most stylistic.
You know, I would have killed to get a forum running this long after I posted a Magic Deck...LOL For real though, you guys a giving me some new insites on life. The "new chic" is dedicated to only being friends, which is weird for me, but I'm working on it. I've never had a "just friend" chic. (sorry if I offend anyone with the word "chic") And I really have no idea what this Nietche (?) guy had to do with anything, or the germans, or skin heads, but I'm glad everyone liked my post. I've dropped Pharmacy altogether now, taking General Studies until I figure out what I want. Yes, I was just doing Pharm for the money "that which glitters isn't always gold"...I love that saying! I guess most of you are right that I'm just trying too hard to get back with a girl, when really I should just wait for one to find me. I'm a dead sexy bitch Well, hey any more info I will always gladly take, and if anyone needs help on anything I will be here to help also. Thanx a lot again guys. You rock.
"nietzsche was no anti-semite" ROFLMAO
St. Augustine rocks, Matt! Any literate person should appreciate his genius just as much as Nietzsche. If not, you're just as bad as those professors you skipped.
"AND for the last time I'm telling you all: there is no future in computers. Computers and this internet foolishness are just fads like the yo-yo, skateboard, leisure suits, etc."
Um... yeah.... I can't tell if there was a tone of sarcasm but I seriously hope there was. Otherwise that is definatly the most ignorant thing I have heard anyone say.
Please clarify this statement...
>>>St. Augustine rocks, Matt! Any literate person should appreciate his genius just as much as Nietzsche. If not, you're just as bad as those professors you skipped.
I didn't say Augustine was bad, but that all the profs did was focus on philosophers that were in line with their religious doctrine. they probably would have condemned Buddha too.
Augustine led a more interesting life, but Thomas Aquinas had a superior mind. I also disagree with most of what both of the bastards said, but that's beside the point.
--Matt
>>>Um... yeah.... I can't tell if there was a tone of sarcasm but I seriously hope there was. Otherwise that is definatly the most ignorant thing I have heard anyone say.
>>>Please clarify this statement...
Sarcasm? Huh? I'm trying to warn you and you think I'm being sarcastic? Just wait till your little world of email, television, electronic banking, electric lights, mother boards, and webcams goes the way of the dinosaur. It's not too late. Invest now in quill pens, parchment and vellum, the barter system, customary measurements based on the king of England's foot, cobblestones, horse and buggy, and gas lamps.
--Matt
P.S. Also "All the glitters is not gold." is a total misquote. The original Nietzsche quote (roughly translated for the unwashed masses) is "All that glitters is not glitter--some of it it glass and will cut your fool hand off if you try to pick it up off the street. Now get the hell back inside and make me a sandwich."
az: nietzsche was NO anti-semite, even if you don't like it. i read essays from him where he wrote about how adoreable the jewish culture was.
moloch:
his name doesn't rhyme with pizza, this is ridicolous.
and even if you wright a disseration about him, the quote can't be:
"'Was mich nicht sterbt, mich staerkt.' ", caus this is no german.
i think you mean:
was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker.
pizza=neetzscha LOL
for heavens sake.
i meant "even if you write"
i should go back to sleep
"Now get the hell back inside and make me a sandwich." -- Matt D'Avanzo
"I also disagree with most of what both of the bastards said, but that's beside the point."
Saints Augustine and Aquinas 0wN j00!
"az: nietzsche was NO anti-semite, even if you don't like it. i read essays from him where he wrote about how adoreable the jewish culture was."
Do some more reading to find out how fond he was of the Hebrew ideologies that ended up being the basis for most western societies. No anti-semite? Give me a *break*. Ever read Genealogy of Morals or Ecce Homo? My guess is not.
This has changed so much from my original post, but its so funny I don't care. You guys are making my depression go away just cause of your arguments. LOL
My friend I give this advice. School is #1 without school you will fail in life at what you want to do. If you want to become a Pharmasist(?) then work at it. There will be plenty of time for you to find a girl after school. Study hard and do your best the rest will eventually fall into place !
Women are DANG a LOAD of trouble ...
1) They have elephant memory .. forget an anniversary, birthday and you get the works !!
2) Whenever they ask their partner or a guy for an opinion, they would have already have one ! Any answer contrary to that means TROUBLE, Capital T ..
eg., if she asks u whether she looks good in a white or blue skirt (assume she chose blue), and u said white, she will go on to a debate with you why she would look better in blue .. if you argued "but you asked me!!" , she would go "You should know me!!"
Safest is to go:"WHich you prefer more, dear?"
She:"i dunno, the blue looks good.."
You:" I think the blue looks good too!"
SHe:"The white..?"
You:"Blue looks better on you"
Her first answer is her opinion ..
3) They think guys are mindreaders .. If i knew what women want, damn .. i would be a rich asshole ..
4) They want equality of the sexes and still expect good old chilvary in men.
5) They complain guys are selfish in bed
6) They say we are lazy and only know how to think with our head (THE OTHER ONe ..)
7) They know how to play with our feelings .. a pout here or two always works .. Capacity to turn a guy into a shapeless mass of marshmellow
8) Women love playing hard to get
9) You persist, she say you are irritating, you give up, you have no perseverance
10) They say we are horny bastards, but are wildcats when the action gets hot
Cant live with them , cant live without them ... what a bummer ...
LONG LIVE WOMEN !!! ..... (thats what working nonstop for 3 days does to your head .. That HEad, not the one below ..)
az: he was an anti-semite in his early years, but after he broke with richard wagner he changed his attitude towards jews as far as i know ("strange" coincidence, wagner was a radical anti semite).
and if you quote "genialogie der moral", i can look up quotes from him where he praises the jews and shouts about german culture.
do i have to make myself those circumstances, az?
serra collector: do you know "the big lebowski"?
"sometimes you bag the bear, and sometimes the bear bags you"
a philosophy wich makes things easier
SerraCollector:
Ai ya that does sound bad. From a woman's point of view I really don't think you are ready for a relationship. I look at a guy that is failing school, jobless and not secure about himself and I look the other way. I don't care if he's the biggest hunk sort to say. Women look for financial stability and security as well to build a family. I think it was premature asking your first girl friend for marriage. You don't have a stable job yet and aren't doing well in school. A stable job is necessary for building a family.
I would suggest that you get back on track with your college and your job, take variety of classes find what you like and get a decent paying job that doesn't over work you that you either enjoy or can advance in.
It seems your former gf seems to jump from bf to bf. Did she have a bf before you? I have a few friends like that. My advice to you is to stay way from that type of person. Also take things slow and don't rush things.
Your second girl friend is doing things the right way and just being friends first. That is how I was with everyone that I dated. Don't push your luck. Patience is definately a virtue when dating.
JustForki X:
I'll just pretend I didn't see that
Mako Satou
Seems like you are in a simialr situation to me. My situation is a little different. You are still in school, and my friends are all an hour away, but other than that, it's pretty much the same.
I can give you only one piece of advice. Grin and bear it. No matter how crappy life gets, it could be worse. Put on the big grin, and go about your business. Jobs aren't that hard to find, and at college, neither are friends or women.
It may be a little harder if you're not a social monster and semi-pimp like me, but try it anyway. Go to parties, experiment if you want. If anyone asks you how you are doing, say "fine", and don't lay all this on anyone, it's a surefire way to get people to avoid you at a party.
If you are ever near Newark, NJ, let me know, I'll help you out, and I'll show you a lot of double X-chromosomes, if you catch my drift.
The Maxx
P.S. Matt, I think I prefer the "real" quote better. I'm going to start using that one more often.
P.P.S. I just learned to solve the Rubik's Cube without cheating, hoorah for me.
Wow someone solved a rubix cube?
Az: Nietzsche was certainly no anti-semite. I've read 'Genealogy of Morals' and 'Ecce Homo' both, and, while neither could be seen as in -praise- of the jews, I would be hard pressed to find in them -contempt- for the Jews. Nietzsche reserves the bulk of his contempt for the Christians, and for Saul (the apostle Paul), who Nietzsche believed to have perpetrated the greatest hoax of all on mankind, establishing in the savior-evangel's place, a world-annihilation and destruction.
In a letter to his sister in 1886, he calls himself an 'incorrigible European and anti-anti-Semite'-- though this would not stop her manhandling, indeed, mauling of his philosophy to suit her own, and her anti-semite husband Foerster's, after his collapse. She took the name 'Elizabeth Foerster-Nietzsche' and sought a synthesis between incompatible modes, though Nietzsche himself hated Foerster's 'philosophy'
His last note to Overbeck, one of his few friends, ends : 'Just now I am having all anti-Semites shot,' and, indeed, he described it as 'laughable' that the anti-semitic correspondence sheet Kreuzzeitung would read it in as having an anti-semitic, pro-fascist stance.
You're welcome to introduce evidence to the contrary, but I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar that the weight of scholarship rests squarely in this corner: Nietzsche was no anti-semite.
you'll find miss right when you least expect it, and life goes on even if you do end up failing out of college. i'm a perfect example of that, i've been with the same wonderful gal for over 2 years now, i met her when i gave up trying to find someone. and i have a decent paying job without having a college degree.
just some words of encouragement.
christianity is a jewish cult, you best of semites you. i'd say they preclude each other.
all members of fraternity-like structures, say the skinheads, may consist of 99% of obviously big stupid dummy heads, but that 1% that have an idea of what they're about are quite intelligent, and hold the whole thing together. I'd say that's true for almost any system. the pivots, the center of the web.
Christians stick up for jews too often. this is obvious with the muslim persecution in our nation right now, and our stance in Isreal... one of the biggest reasons why i no longer support my church (actually the church of my parents) is this
Ummm.......In case you haven't noticed, there haven't been 6,700 people killed in the last 2 weeks by Jews.......True, american muslims DO NOT deserve to be attacked for the actions of others, but it's not just because "Chirstians Stick up for Jews"
Let's just say I have not been to church since I was little enought to not know any better (age 4?) and of course parents make you go as a child. I don't really belive in religion and it's brainwashing non-sence of what they tell you is right and wronge. I don't need someone to tell me what to belive in and to coverup for what they know nothing about.
In the famous words of Neo from the Matrix, "I don't belive in fate because I don't like the idea that my life is controlled by someone else."
Belive what you wanna belive, not what they tell you to belive. Religion is a very dangerous tool however, because people base there entire life on it's principles, they can do drastic things in the name of religion. Like what some of the Islam extreamists belive that all Jews should be killed and removed from the "holy land".
Religion is for the weak minded (I don't wanna say ignorant) who never look outside there little box and are easily influenced by what one person "convincingly" says.
Glad to know I'm weak-minded.
Apparently spelling and grammar are also for the weak-minded, eh? Lol, but I digress.
While I won't give much advice, others have given plenty, I will wish my best to you. Also, a lot of life is not what happens, but how you see it, and what you do about it.
To whomever wroth that list of stuff (Justforkix or something?) here's a thought:
Top Ten things Men understand about Women:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
As to Raven's comments, something in me makes me have to say something.
>Let's just say I have not been to church since I was little enought to not know any better (age 4?)
From what you've said, I can believe that.
>of course parents make you go as a child.
Not all of us are that lucky, I'm afraid.
>I don't need someone to tell me what to belive in and to coverup for what they know nothing about.
What do you think your parents are there for?
>Religion is a very dangerous tool however, because people base there entire life on it's principles, they can do drastic things in the name of religion.
Religion is certainly not unique in this aspect. People base there whole lives around the almighty dollar or other worse vices.
Also, people will commit evil acts, and those acts remain evil, regardless of "in whose name" they are done.
>Religion is for the weak minded (I don't wanna say ignorant) who never look outside there little box and are easily influenced by what one person "convincingly" says.
You may not have wanted to say ignorant, but you did. Your language offends me there a bit, and probably others as well. Take a little deeper look at some religions and some philosophical and metaphysical stuff. It will increase your appreciation. It will also show you just how similar belief systems are. There is one central Truth in all religions, it's just that the cermony added and interpreted by humans varies with the culture it's practiced in.
Not to say you should start practicing some organized religion, I mean, nothing is perfect, because human beings get involved in organizing religion, which inevitably introduces problems. Just don't dismiss religion offhand because you consider yourself more enlightened than poor weak-minded slobs like me.
Yeah! And another thing! Go back inside and make me a sandwich!
--Matt
advice: get off the internet for a year and go out and meet people. talk to lots of women every day, even if they are old or serving u in your coffee shop or selling you something in your local shop. this all helps to talk to women naturally and with charm. ask girls who u know, who already have boyfriends, if they have a friend or sister who would like a pleasant evening out. there is no shame in this, and women love organising stuff like that.
sell all your rare magic cards and use the money to buy some nice clothes and new shoes when u go out with someone. this will give you confidence .
once you have a steady girl you can buy em back slowly !
hope something here helps
good luck from great britain, fingers crossed for ya !
Why do people always dismiss religion offhand... especially the ones that know nothing about it?
I am a Christian, and I am not weak-minded. That statement rather offended me, just to let you know.
What is the purpose of attending church on a weekly basis? Why must people go through these rituals that are almost melodic traditions?
And why must parents make there children goto church? Does a child get to decide what religion they are? Do they even understand what religion is? You are almost born into a certain religion (in some cases you are, baptisim). I don't think this is right, just because your parents belive in something doesnt mean you have to or that you even want to.
Am I alone on this one?
Wow, from My depression story, to Nietche to Religion. I've never seen a forum do this before, and it's all cause of a dumbass relationship i was in LOL
Wow, from My depression story, to Nietche to Religion. I've never seen a forum do this before, and it's all cause of a dumbass relationship i was in LOL
any parent that forces religion on a child that can consiously object to it is a tyrant and unfit to parent.
Yes SerraCollector, all of this was because of one woman which brings us to that equation that shows that Women=Evil.
Yes SerraCollector, all of this was because of one woman which brings us to that equation that shows that Women=Evil.
Well, as some may or may not know, I'm a devout (heh) atheist. But not your run-of-the-mill atheist mind you, you see, I'm not an ass. I don't go around bashing religon and writing it off as brainwashing. In fact, I think religon is a great thing for manking. It gives people security, a (although sometimes misguided) moral system, and generally makes people happier (debatable, heh).
However, if someone comes up to me and starts preaching their divine salespitch at me, it gets me pretty irritated. I really don't think that you coming up to me and talking about the power of God will make me shout "EUREKA!" and become a born again christain. Likewise, there's no way that I could try to justify my atheism to a religous person and expect them to renounce their sacred beliefs.
Basically, live and let live. Also, if at all possible, don't be an ass to people that disagree with you over something faith (or lack thereof) based. Thank you.
-TEH KAEWT
Brothers, can we get an "Amen"? o-P
Religeon is fine so long as it is not the governing force in your life, unless of course you are a priest or equivilent of a priest. I personally find a lot of the Bible to be unconsistent and sometimes laughable, but for those who don't, whatever floats your boat.
I think that's the way it shold be.
-Liam
I couldn't have said it better myself...
But the problem is Religion is based around being the governing force in a person's life. As for the weak minded arguement, I strongly disagree. There are numerous, a gigantic number of arguements for and against religion, Christianity especially. Don't start telling me about evolution, and all it's glories. There are too many holes in the theory. Conversely, don't start telling me about Jesus, and all his works. Once again, there are too many holes in the thoery. The point is, neither side can prove it's point, so why judge?
1)Parents are here to educate you and to do for you whatever is good.
2)Religion is NOT simply some rituals that you do on Sunday (or whenever you like). It teaches you how to behave ALWAYS. If religion were only rituals I wouldn't have followed it.
3)Of course anyone is free to believe in what he likes, or to don't believe in anything.
4)Religion is not for the weak-minded.
Max, the Mana Drainer
TracerBullet: That's a bit naive, I fear. You also cannot prove Newton's (or later Einstein's) gravitational law, neither can you prove quantum mechanics and not even simple Newtonian mechanics can be proved. Although I am no specialist for evolution I'd say that it is "proved" at the same level quantum mechanics is "proved": There is compelling evidence in its favour and no apparent contradiction to any "experiment" and it needs only a few assumptions, so it is in every sense what any sane person would call a "true" theory (just because it is convenient to use the word "true" in this context - because it is kind of unwieldy to replace the simple "true" by "falsifiable but not yet disproved and using few assumptions and making many predictions" or soething similar.
Because all you can do is disprove a theory or reject it because it needs to many ad-hoc assumptions or because it makes only non-falsifiable statements.
So a good theory is not a theory that has been "proved" but a theory that CAN BE DISPROVED (at least in principle), but no such disprove has been found.
Examples of bad theories in the above sense:
- "The moon is red if nobody looks at it" (non-falsifiable)
- "God put the dinosaur's bones into earth as a test of faith" (non-falsifiable)
- "Every star has its own soul coming from Gaea and Serra and they interchange via Mana bonds and try to help the spirits of the human beings and pregnant dolphins." (too many ad-hoc assumptions as compared to what the theory "explains")
- the theory that planets move on epi-cycles with the Earth in the centre, aka geo-centric world-picture (falsifiable and to a given accuracy correct, but much more complicated than the heliocentric world-picture which also "explains" the movement of the planets with much fewer ad-hoc assumptions)
Example of good theories in the above sense:
- Quantum mechanics (it makes many falsifiable predictions and has been tested to excellent accuracy and relies just on a few principles)
- Evolution (it needs essentially one principle and explains the diversity of life forms as well as some anatomic details)
There is no "anything goes" as postmodern philosophers would like to suggest. Some theories are simply "fitter" (to use an evolutionary term) than others and therefore better in the long run.
As to you question, why judge: You can judge the success of a theory by the amount it explains as compared to the input you have to use. You can also define it by the spin-off it produces (like e.g. cryptographical spin-offs from number theory). Why should you do it? Simply because it usually makes life simpler. That's all. Not more, but also not less.
Although I see the positive effects of religion I see the danger that it leads to dogmatism (because this is what happened in the Christian church, but of course dogmatism is not restricted to religion - dogmatic scientists are even worse), because any skepticism can be regarded as (possibly heretic) "disbelief".
Max: "Religion is not for the weak minded" - do you mean that weak-minded should not enter religion? Or that they do somehow misunderstand it? Because I always thought that religion provided shelter ESPECIALLY for the weak-minded (of course not implying that everybody who is religious is weak-minded). In fact, that is what I give religion most credit for: To provide some shelter for the "weak-minded".
And, in fact, every religion is more about rituals than about belief, at least for all practical purposes - how many Christian, Jews, Muslims, etc. do you think have theological or moral discussions? It IS a ritual, but rituals are important for people.
SerraCollector: Sorry for the digression. As to your original post: I think, in the long run, it pays to find something like a role model ("Leitbild") for yourself. How would you like to be? What is important for you? Money? Magic? Women? Men? Love, peace, flowers, happieness? Being an artist? Having an interesting job? Having a well-paid job (this is, I fear, mutually exclusive with the former)? Being able to help others? Being memebr of a club? Having children? etc.
Of course, this is not an easy task. But you should take some time to think about it - not the whole day and not for months, but for some time. Because it usually takes some time to "digest" a broken relationship. You cannot pretend everything is as it was before, because it isn't. But every change means a chance. Don't be impatient.
The other route is to take it easy, relax, have fun and party. For a short period (which can last for a whole decade or longer) this can be very satisfying (I have been 1 year to Mexico, so I know what I am talking about), but most people feel that there must be more in life than just having fun. But it might be still a helpful route to start with (the year in Mexico helped me a lot).
Regarding the problems with school: You should find something you really want. It is very hard, if not impossible, to learn something which, by your heart, you do not want to learn. Sometimes it has to be done, though - e.g. I hated Chemistry, but had to learn a bit for my physics master degree. So I sacrificed 1 month (the most horrible month during university) and did it. But if the majority of your classes are like that you should consider some change. Since I don't know details about your school system I cannot give more than this general advise, I am afraid.
short version of Big Blue's post:
It's probably true if it takes more assumptions to say it's wrong then to say it's right.
-Liam
Two things:
1) Anyone who uses the Bible's (or TaNaK, if you prefer) inconsistencies as a reason to not have any faith at all is just silly. Most people of those three religious faiths understand that a great many of the stories are not intended to be representational of actual historical events, and neither did the early Yawhists/Hebrews/Jews (in that order). It's also important to place the events in their historical context, which helps a lot. To simply read the Bible without actually *learning* about it and the people who wrote it is a fool's errand.
2) What, no one ever heard of like Hinduism or Buddhism? Why do atheists always pick on Christianity? THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS DAMMIT. To say "I'm an atheist because I don't like the Bible" is just a big old heap of ignorance.
Oh, and Saint Aquinas said it best as far as ritual and dogma goes, when he said that it is far better for people to come to their own conclusions about God, but since most people have neither the inclination, the time, or the ability to devote themselves to that process, ritual and dogma are very useful to have around.
I agree on the ritual, but not on the dogma part of St.Aquinas' conclusion. A dogma just prevents from letting your mind start working. And it doesn't cost very much time to think a bit - I mean, you don't have to create your own Theory of Everything, but a little bit of healthy skepticism is necessary.
Mindless or brainwashed people are easier to manipulate than people who try to think. And we all know, where dogmatism (not necessarily religious dogmatism) can lead to, don't we?
If I might regurgitate something I learned from a very wise person: Dogma is only divine, in so much as it is truly human--that is to say it summarizes the highest levels of human reason.
--Matt
P.S. "Most people of those three religious faiths understand that a great many of the stories are not intended to be representational of actual historical"
Just a side comment about a pet peeve (this is not to detract or support from your arguement--I'm wonderfully amoral). Honestly the heads/followers of those faiths need to pick a side. When it suits their needs the holy book of choice speaks literally, when it is counter-productive to what they want it's figurative. Of course something that is literal today will be figurative tommorow should any interpretation cause too many people to become unhappy with their faith and desire a change.
Furthermore several faiths (Christianity being the quintessential example) have integral parts (tenets, restrictions, practices, etc.) that have little to no basis in their holy scripture. I just want to hear some religious people openly admit that. Just say, "Yes, we pulled it straight out of our asses--we just think it's right/it makes us feel better/it suits our wants or needs."
I can think of several exmaples, but one that illustrates both (vacillating dogma and dogma pulled out of streeeeeeeeeeeeetching) is the bygone Xian concept of limbo (the inbetween place where unbaptized infants went--they were only supposed to feel slight pain there, which is what limbo means roughly, "slight pain"). Eventually the Church realized that this doctrine bothered people who wanted to be told "When you go to heaven your seven dead children will be there waiting for you." so it was changed.
it's just like a club in high school.
it's just like a club in high school.
I think things like that have more to do with people asking questions that aren't explicitly covered in any major religious text and someone scrabbling to try and figure out what might be a good answer that is in keeping with everything that is inarguable.
Dante did a great job on limbo, IMO.
So this finally proves that people only read the last post of a forum. Becasue nothing said in the last like 10 posts has had anything to do with me origianl message. Talking about chasing rabbits, geez! LOL! Well, on the topic of religion I have one thing to say:
God Loves You All.
You ain't seen nothin' yet
Soon, it'll go from Religion to something like religious heretics, to torture (~ of heretics at first then just turture), to kinky sex practices, then just to sex, then maybe even back to what the thread is really about.
Ok, let's hurry the process up. On to heretics.
Those herteics in Dune are cool. there my 2 cents.
No, we'll never get back on topic. We will get to kinky sex practices once Matt and Az reply to this thread and give me fodder for bad puns.
Now all this thread needs is mikephoen.
When I think the word "Mikephoen" in my head, it sounds like "microphone."
Where has he been as of recent? I've noticed that in the last 3-4 months he hasn't posted.
Kinky sex practices ?? O.M.G ....
who wants to start 1st ??
btw, i hate the old missionary position, gets kinda stale ..
>>>We will get to kinky sex practices once Matt and Az reply to this thread and give me fodder for bad puns.
Ha, just to prove you wrong I'm going to shock you and instead talk about all sex of the normal, non-kinky variety.
*pauses and sits silently in a position reminiscent of "The Thinker" for about 15 minutes*
Hmmm....I have absolutely nothing to say on that topic.
However, look at this gem...
>>>btw, i hate the old missionary position, gets kinda stale ..
Two easy solutions...
1. If you're a physical sort of person that's when you need to get one of the other 5 people in the room to help out with some good old vibrator action from behind. This turns plain old "missionary sex" into "born again Xian sex".
2. If you're a more mentally stimulated sort of person and it's getting stale you could try closing your eyes and picturing your Aunt Clem in bondage tape (you know you always wanted to see her naked).
--Matt
wow !
Or, a healthy combination of the two!
Or, a healthy combination of the 5!
Elrond is so wise
This has turn so messed up....anyway I was always into bondage, but my Aunt Clem never really liked it. My Uncle on the other hand.....
Ha! You couldn't resist! This really should turn into "The Lucy Report" soon. You know that one, the tourney report where the guy gets ejected because he cursed out a judge so he goes and has sex with the girl that he lost to in round 2 and describes it like "She emerged a Naked Singularity and we quickly entered the Benalish Missionary position."
Quote:Elrond is so wise
SO how much more off-topic can this get?
Once there was a fly hovering about 8 inches above a pond. He looked down and saw a breeze rippling the pond water below him, and thought to himself "You know, if I dropped 5 inches I could catch those cool breezes and just float for awhile". Well, there was this fish in the pond, who saw the fly and thought to himself "Hey, if that fly dropped about 5 inches, then I could have myself a yummy fly dinner." Then there was this bear hiding behind a tree next to the pond. He saw the fish and thought to himself "Geez, if that fish jumped outta that water I could catch him and eat'em, but the only way that fish is gonna jump is if that fly would drop 5 inches." Well, there was this hunter, and he wanted to shoot the bear for a nice littel mantle peice. But he knew the only way he could shoot the bear was if he moved from behind the tree, and the only way he would do that was if the fish jumped, which obviously the fish wasn't going to jump unless the fly dropped 5 inches. Then there was this mouse, see, he wanted the hunters cheese from his picnic basket, but the only way he would get the cheese without getting caught was if the hunter moved to shoot the bear, which as we all know by now isn't going to happen unless the fly drops 5 inches. And there, there, behind the mouse was a bad ol' putty tat, hiding behind some bushes. Now obviously the cat wanted the mouse, which he couldn't get unless the mouse went for the cheese, which we all know isn't happening unless the fly drops 5 inches. So, anyway, the fly finally decided to drop 5 inches. The fish jumps up to eat him, but the bear swings and snatches the fish first. As soon as he has the fish in his paws "BLAM!" the hunter shoots him straight in the heart, died instantly. The mouse scurries quickly along and grabs the cheese, and then the cat takes a runnning leap! He leaps over the mouse, over the hunter, over the dead bear, and "SPLASH!" into the pond.
The Moral of the story:
If a fly drops 5 inches a pussy is gonna get wet.
Now can it get more off topic than that?
Azhrei i resent that comment. i didn't choose not to be religeous because of the bible's inconsistancies, (the simple ones which you pointed out OR the more suttle ones in the actual referances to former parts of the book), but the fact that i found the holy text funny deterred me from devout cathlosism.
It was not a foolish or shallow decision. For shame, trying to shoot down a comment that basicly read "doesn't work for me but whatever floats your boat."
-Liam
Believe it or not, Serra Collector, I think it can get even more off-topic. Somehow, some way, BDers will find a solution
While we are on the topic of Joke's here's one for ya:
What do Wives and Tornado's have in common?
In the beggining there's alot of sucking and blowing, but in the end you lose your house...
And...
Why do hunters make the best lovers?
Because they go deep into the bush, they shoot more than once, and they always eat what they shoot.
Lol @ "but the fact that i found the holy text funny" having "It was not a foolish or shallow decision" referring to it. Wow.
My joke rocks So, what would happen if you found a genie, and for your first wish, you wished he couldn't grant your first wish? Oh and to the effect of the first topic this post was all about, I am now giving up on girls all together and becoming a player. Time to enjoy my youth and get some.
Just to balance the sexism of the previous posts:
Why do men exist?
Because vibrators cannot be used as lawn-mower.
Quote:Why do men exist? Because vibrators cannot be used as lawn-mower.
Quote:Mr. Blue. Ihre Kenntnis primitiver Scherze der Erde des 20. Jahrhunderts überrascht mich
jp:
you forgot: Tuvok out
and earth, 20th century
"Because vibrators cannot be used as lawn-mower."
As a matter of fact, they have a new design out...
But if that statement were true, then why did men exist before vibrators?
raoul to big blue:
you heard ravens question.
your analysis, mr. blue?
Hey, high school girls
are dumb. You meet the
real women later on. And
to get screwed by a girl
is humiliating, but it
makes you more aware later
down the road.
What I do is just get a
bunch of "not serious"
girlfriends, and do goofy
stuff with them all the
time. And if one of them
wants to f$$k, then it's
good for you. Besides,
All of them can't hate you
at once. They losen up
a few months later.
And the most important thing
is: when you get married,
you screw yourself worse than
any girl ever could. Stay
single and play the field.
That's how you meet the best
one's.
Azhrei how can you possibly take something seriously when it's cheif doctrine cracks you up? If you are capable of such a feat you are a better man then me.
However i also pointed out it was "not" just because of that. These boards are tedious ways to convey a complicated opinion so i'm gonna drop it. Sorry for bursting out but i've got too much Irish blood in me to not to respond to obscure insults .
-Liam, another potential supposed soul of courtesy.
I think he was quoting someone else. And besides we are NOT going to get into a foolish religion arguement where people argue the validity and stupidity of their various faiths.
However the Bible CAN be incredibly amusing. My particular favorite is reading about Lot who, when the band or raving sexual predators show up to his house demanding his guests he says, "No, but you can have my two teenage virgin daughters instead to do with whatever you want!" And then band of men refuse and demand the guests be brought out right now! Wow!
I just remember being in grade school thinking, what the hell was wrong with Lot for offering his duaghters...but more so what the hell was wrong with the mob for refusing?
--Matt
P.S. Being a player is B.S. There's no reason to play anyone--you can have sex with one girl and establish that you aren't ooking for a relationship right now. If she has a problem with that then oh well, she can find someone else to suck down into a premature commitment.
who else would he be quoteing?
oh crap i killed another one. it was just getting funny too.
:hangs head::
Paraphrasing:
An asshole is someone who doesn't believe what he sees.
(Points to anyone who knows what it's from)
Anyway, this applies from Religion to medicine. I'm a Jew, and I there are some pretty stupid Jewish practices. So I don't follow them. For example, on Pesach (week in which you don't eat anything leveaned), more "observant" people don't eat corn syrup. I do. I'd say I'm still a Jew.
Hehe, you said sex:
I like my sex like basketball; one on one with as much dribbling as possible.
A good woman is like a vacuum; she sucks, she blows, and she gets laid in the closet.
I can't think of any other horrible jokes.
Saltz
Boy, the last dozen posts made the net filter at my school ban this site Seriously.
"I just remember being in grade school thinking, what the hell was wrong with Lot for offering his duaghters...but more so what the hell was wrong with the mob for refusing?"
Matt, Matt, Matt... you need to do some research. That's all cultural for the time period-- as guests in Lot's house, he was obliged to do anything and everything in his power to see to their safety and well being. Culturally speaking, his daughters were less important than his guests. Screwy yes, but it's not as though it was unusual.
Net filter? You mean you haven't disabled it yet? What are you doing? I uploaded a simple crack to my school's server that disabled the effect's of any form of a filter.
And the coolest thing is that I'm in charge of on of the networks, so there's no way I can get in trouble.
"And the coolest thing is that I'm in charge of on of the networks, so there's no way I can get in trouble."
Right. And the accountant in charge of payroll can't get in trouble for adding a bit to his salary. :P
And watch as this thread turns into a discussion of network security protcols, and trusting people with authority.
I love it.
I like how people that never saw this thread before try posting on the original topic instead of the real topic.
You think I'm jokeing? I'm dead serious, all the people at my school in charge of some sort of computer job are so ignorant, and computer illiterate that they don't even know what a network is. Mind you I'm a Senior at a High School that doesn't really invest much into the computer feild.
Even if someone there had half as much experience with computers as me, they wouldn't have any proof. And I basically teach all the comp classes I am in anyways, so it's not a big deal. But I spend all my periods playing CounterStrike and Diablo2 on a small lan in the back room with the other computer literates rather than surfing the net for unfiltered sites.
And while we are in an Off topic, within an Off topic, underneath an Off topic, which is followed by an Off topic...
You know how we were gonna make Beyond Dominia shirts for BD members to buy and wear?
Well now we can make shirt's that read: "I participated in the: Totally and Completely Off Topic In Every Way Possible-Advice On Life thread!"
I sure as heck would buy one!
I remember one time Nevyn titled a post something like "On Topic--My latest TurboNevyn"
If bd shirts had my original post on them, that would be hilarious. Seriously though, how many common bder's (sorry but I don't know what else to call them) have not been on here top say something yet. I've got Azhre, Matt D'Avanzo, Nevyn, K-Run, JP, Raul, and many more. See who can i think of who hasn't been on here....the other Serra (the real one) and Shadow? Geez. Who would have known this simple quest for advice would turn into one of the longest forums I have ever seen. I think this is even longer than Matt's Neo-Academy post a while back. Funny
Have quests for advice ever been simple in this world? The question "What shall we do with the drunken sailor" has never been sufficiently solved till these days, and that's a simpler one than your initial question.
My favourite solution to the question above is "Put him in the bed with captain's daughter", by the way. Just to stay on-topic.
Dozer
huh ?? I thot u just throw him overboard ??
Craziness I tell you, sheer craziness!
of course it is
We're missing fishonmyplane, ahappyclown, and the vagrant nEwAnDa!! who won't come back.
>>>Matt, Matt, Matt... you need to do some research. That's all cultural for the time period-
I know that NOW oh-savior-of-Christianity-in-the- Western-World, but I was in grade school--you think I had a clue or cared? I was just happy to read about a roaming band of sexual predators and a freaky parent instead of the boring passages we were supposed to read about the beatitudes. Actually I don't care now (aside from a "it's never bad to know any piece of truth" standpoint)--it's still hilarious to read it because crappy translations of translations make it sound so dry and matter-of-fact. And the raining of frogs is STILL a crappy excuse for a plague no matter what.
--Matt
P.S. BtW this topic is becoming far too clean. I dissaprove.
Okay, to make this even MORE off-topic I highly recommend you all read the following works of literature...
1. _Melmoth the Wanderer_ by Charles Robert Maturin
2. _The Ogre_ by Michael Tournier
3. "Alastor" by Percy Bysshe Shelley
4. _The Misfortunes of Virtue_ by Sade
--Matt
I would recommend
1. Paradise Lost by Milton
2. Faust by Goethe
3. The Collective Works of William Blake
4. The Collective Works of Jon Donne
5. Any Paintings by either F.Goya, P.Brugel or H.Bosch
I AM NOT A GOTH! I REPEAT. I AM NOT A GOTH!
//Zanethian
Dude, here is exactly what you need to do. If your a fat ass, go on the Atkins diet for 3 months, if your white as hell, take up an outdoor hobby/activity and take your shirt off while you do it. (careful just a few minutes at first, then take it off longer and longer, or you will burn up) If your playing real life magic other than tournaments with a cash prize of AT LEAST $100, STOP NOW.(it takes me most of a day to win a tourney, if Im not making $100 bucks Im not wasting a day) In fact, at this point in your life, any activity where you sit in one place, pretending or imagining to be somewhere else doing something else, is completely unhealthy. Ok, 3 months goes by and now you lost 30 pounds and you have a tan(or you were already buff and your ready to proceed with phase 2 either way!) Start looking around for some cool parties where there are lots of black lights, spaced out looking people, and scantily clad chicks sweating and getting rubbed on. These are called "raves". When you find one, walk around looking for 15 year old kids with shaved heads who are all sweaty as hell, ask them for some extasy. Eat 2 pills and come back and post here in the morning. Ok, now the evil dorkazzlozer has been excorcised from your body via the chemicals, and your ready to start your NEW LIFE! (*cheering* *applause*) Now you walk around with a new outlook, having experienced the sublime pleaseure of heaven on earth. Chances are you got laid at your inaugural rave, but if you didnt, NO PROBLEM. Walk around campus looking for hotties, introduce yourself. Nothing corny, no lines, no nothing, just walk up to tha ho and say "Hi, I'm so-n-so, whats your name?" Now is the important part, just smile(very important! not too much tooth in your smile either ho's find that threatneing) and look her in the eye while your doing this, shake hands if its not awkward, and peep her reaction-thats the key. If she looks away from your eyes and turns hr face at a downward angle, you know its time to move on. If she seems nice enough and looks you in the eye and seems to not mind you talking to her, your in!!!!!!! Its just that easy, dont get discouraged either, just keep moving on through the hotties until you get one that talks back to you after you introduce yourself. Ok, then you invite the ho who was nice to you to the party, tell her its a rave and see if she seems into it. Ok, mention that there will be a lot of X at this party, and has she ever tried it out. Then say, wow, well I have a few hits my friend gave me(or whatever), want to eat em at the rave? If she says yes, you have now made it into the shangri-la of our present civilisation. Go out to the library or a used book store and pick yourself up a copy of "The Joy of Sex 1, Illustrated". Read through some of the sections on how to please a woman(this is the key to life). Now your ready, take her to tha rave, feed her some beans, and then take her off somehwere and use your newfound skillz on her body. She will sorship you as if you were a god, and in just a few short months the two of you will be using this same method to pick up an extra slut at the rave four your nefarious purposes.
Ok, now you laugh at the mere thought of yourself being concerned with those two run-down high-school ho's, your macking like a big pimp! And dont give me any self righteous crud about this not being for you... You dont know so try it and see. I garuntee this will work.
cool...
i've secretly been waiting for someone to do a top five books kind of post.
1. "And the Ass Saw the Angel" -by Nick Cave
2. "The Demon" -by Hubert Selby Jr.
3. "The Tao of Jeet Kune Do" -by Bruce Lee
4. "The Lucifer Principle" -by Howard Bloom
5. "One From None" -by Henry Rollins
Or i can continue seeing my current gf, going to parties with music i enjoy (60's/70's/80's "goth rock"), and continue reading a wide range of books that actually require skill and thought to understand.
Oh Yeah, i dont play in magic tournaments btw, ive been in a few FNM's, but thats about it and im only 17, so no raves for me
Oh, and add to my list nearly every book Anne Rice has written *Nearly Every Book, "The Vampire Armand" was just plain crap*
Anne Rice? For shame! Don't recommend that silliness! If you want to read psuedo-Gothic trash written by an Anne do it PROPERLY with Anne Radcliffe (late 18th Century). Still all villains pale in comparision to Melmoth, the Wanderer. Melmoth makes Dracula hold his beer so he doesn't spill it while pimp-slapping Mephistopheles around for holding out on him.
Other things on my do not read list...
1. Poetry by Edgar Allen Poe (it is fit for one thing: tinder)
2. Ernest Hemmingway (unless you are trying to learn how to read and you lost your _Dick & Jane_ book) with the exception of "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber" and maybe "Moveable Feast".
Every year an Ernest Hemmingway appreciation society holds a writting contest (the winner is whoever sounds most like Hemmingway). I've always been tempted to enter it. I figure if I just write as crappy as I possibly can and delete any words that aren't monosyllabic I've got a good shot.
--Matt
P.S. Since everyone is doing top 5 lists add this to my must-reads: _100 Years of Solitude_ or _Love in the Time of Cholera_ both by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
Damnit, trikky posted on the original topic. Boo!
"Melmoth" sounds too much like "Melmack" to be scary.
You know what book was pimpadellic? Crime & Punishment. That book was whipping the horse's ass.
My never read list:
The Scarlet Letter
Anna Karenina
The Awakening
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
I've got to go along with Matt's view of Hemmingway. He's the literary equivalent of the Beetles.
However, I think 'The Raven' was pretty good, and so was 'Annabel Lee.' Poe's goodness is definitely his short stories though.
P.S. Matt, in the orginal translations the frogs were part pirahna and hopped around skeletonizing cows and the elderly, but that got lost in the Septuagint translation and was never recovered.
With current books, I am a sci-fi horror fan, I have read EVERY book by Dean Koontz, King, Micheal Chrichton (spelling?), John Saul, and Robert Cook. I would have to say (although it is not "old school" literature) that Dean Koontz is a very good writer. IMHO Stephen King SUX! And i happen to enjoy Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. Well, i think this topic has gone on enough. What is everybody's favorite porno? I always enjoyed Orgasmo. And "La Blue Girl"....hentai rocks! Gotta love Nin-nin (does anyone here know what I'm talking about?) LOL
Best porno: Zazelle (bet you the rental fee)
Best books:
1. The Count of Monte Christo (Dumas)
2. The Forgotten Soldier (Sajer)
3. Shield of the Three Lions (Unknown)
4. Enders Game/Speaker for the Dead (Card)
5. The Leutenant (Hubbard)
Dude, Huckleberryfinn was a good book! King writes complete drivel, Crichton can't write a descent ending, Rice is tolerable for the first few, if you want to check a new book thats worth reading, Cryptonomicon.
OMG, my friend's nick is MrZazel. Some of you might remember him from my various tourney reports and as he was banned from this site a year ago or so.
La Blue Girl ? The intro music was great.
SerraCollector : the only "nin-nin " I can think of is in the background of Street Fighter II's Balrog stage.
Nin-nin is the little ninja in "La Blue Girl". He has elmo's voice, which is really funny, cause its japanese anime porn. LOL
OH YEAH! I remember ! hehehe
So anyway, what other great porno/porno wannabees movies are out there?
K-Run: You a Streetfighter 2 junkie?
I wonder what the Magic/SF2 correspondence is?
I for one have to say Sega Genesis Super Street Fighter is the only true fighting game for any platform...with the possible exception of Dead or Alive 2.
Say, what are your guys favorite SF2 characters?
(I'd continue with good literature, but I've been doing entirely too much reading lately and don't want this converstaion to go intellectual or something. I'd go with good porno, but well, there are little kids on the board, by little bro among them)
1. Chun-Li (Perhaps the cheapest of them all)
2. Cammy
3. T. Hawk (he sucks, but that's why it's fun to beat people with him)
4. Balrog (The head butt is simply hilarious)
5. Ryu (blah, blah, blah)
Zangief would make the list, except I can't do his 360 piledriver move.
This is totally off topic (LOL) but is this the longest lasting (now 10 days) and longest posted forum thats ever been on here? Just curious. Thanx If it is do i get a spiffy award then since I started it? LOL
IMO, the best fighting game is Super Smash Brothers. :P
And nothing beats Unreal Tournament. Console games are for the weak.
Unreal Tournament bli-zows. The engine suck's, and why play online vs. bot's when you can play humans?
Try a real game like Counter Strike, or Team Fortress Classis 2 (if it's out yet). And there are tons of other great mod's on the half-life engine. Console games don't even compair to PC games. Playing vs. 32+ people in a huge open server on a T1 connection, drool...
And Diablo 2 is really a poor rpg game (let's see who can click there mouse button a thousands times per minute!), but addictive non-the-less.
Warcraft 3 is gonna be the shiznit, and Starcaft is old but fun.
SSB is fun as hell, it's all about Kirby man, he can turn into a piece of shit and land on your head! Or he can eat you and gain your powers. Probebly one of the few console game's that I don't consider absolute trash.
Dude, I was playing Counter-Strike back when everyone had the same skins. That game SUCKS now because of so many BITCHES who just run around AWPing people like pussies. It's a tactical game played by 12 year olds who have no idea what to do. I got sick of dealing with other people's incompetence and went back to deathmatch.
Hey, don't diss UT ;)
Hmmm...no one answered my question. All I want is that BD shirt that says:
"I participated in the: Totally and Completely Off Topic In Every Way Possible-Advice On Life thread!"
Except mine should also say "That I started cause of women" Geez gotta love it!
Oh, and the best game ever is the japanese war game that they literally translated straight from japanese to english "Now your bases are belong to us!" LOL
HaHA!
UT is quite simply very good but somewhat repeditive. Love it anyway.
For books i'm addicted to contemporary fantasy, and enjoy Robert Jordan, his hack Terry Goodkind, and my all time favorite David Eddings. Anyone who has not read the Belgariad and likes fantasy go buy a copy of Pawn of Prophecy right now.
Diablo 2 + expansion is not RP it's in a class of it's own, and a good one.
As for porno's, CYNISISM to anyone who knows why that's funny.
-Liam
crap i never posted that joke here. oh well.
soon i'll be telling you guys i forgot how to swallow and you'll NEVER understand that one.
-Liam
"Dude, I was playing Counter-Strike back when everyone had the same skins. That game SUCKS now because of so many BITCHES who just run around AWPing people like pussies. It's a tactical game played by 12 year olds who have no idea what to do. I got sick of dealing with other people's incompetence and went back to deathmatch."
Sound's like someone got tired of getting there arse kicked...
And if you seriously get wasted by newbie's with AWP's, then you really shouldn't be playing the game at all. I'm more of a sniper guy, but when things get up close and personal, you gotta have that hotkey set to Desert Eagle. Or in between reloads in gun fight's, desert eagle owns joo!
And there are organized and sanctioned CS team's that compete for money. Kinda like MTG.
I got bored of UT after the first day I played it. It's too non-realistic. Who the hell can jump 50+ feet into the air, or run through teleporters? The weapons are also made up and really janky in some cases. They add in all these extra little goodies that are pointless, how about give 2 guys a gun, and let em go at it in a warehouse?
You aslo gotta remember that CS was designed by a couple colledge students who wanted a cool modification for half-life. So it's pretty amazing that they were able to come out with it, and that it gained such popularity as it has. I think Half-Life or Sierra Studios bought the modification from them, or at least is licensing it and selling it.
Matt, I totally agree on Hemmingway, and I like Az's comparison.
But Anne Rice? Come now, I think they are great, which one(s) have you read? The fifth book in the V.C. series is the best, IMHO, Memnoch, the Devil. I'm not a great fan of the "nearly all-powerful villain that has ONE flaw, and it is exploited in the end" type stories. I like my protagonisy to be a bit of a villain, kind of like a "lesser of two evils" type thing. Just a matter of opinion, I suppose.
And Collector, I couldn't agree more about Stephen King. He's written exactly one book that I enjoyed, and the movie ruined it. I think "The Dead Pool" was the only movie Christopher Walken did that I didn't enjoy, not even as a laughing stock.
The Maxx
"Sound's like someone got tired of getting there arse kicked...
And if you seriously get wasted by newbie's with AWP's, then you really shouldn't be playing the game at all. I'm more of a sniper guy, but when things get up close and personal, you gotta have that hotkey set to Desert Eagle. Or in between reloads in gun fight's, desert eagle owns joo!"
Whatever man-- I was posting records like 35-4 until last March or so. Sniping is for total pussies and so is the Deagle, which is a total junk gun and would never be used IRL. The AK-47 and the Steyr AUG are my weapons of choice since I can just do a single shot to the head from extreme range without a scope (instagib in UT teaches you to AIM). Unless I'm a T I never bother with a different backup gun since the USP is the best one you can get anyway. I quit playing because too many people's idea of a tactical entry is to blind their own team with a flashbang and then AWP through the door in hopes of tagging someone. All the cheating didn't help either.
Who needs to reload during a firefight? Each enemy takes about 2-4 shots maximum to put down so unless you come across about 6 people at once I don't know what your problem is. If you're a Spray and Pray type just use the FN P90.
"Sniping is for total pussies"
Meaning what? You have no way to deal with sniper's, so you just bash em?
And when there's ct's bouncing all over the place in large large area's with debris everywere, you do need to reload your gun. Or if you come accross extream server lag, your shot's get delayed sometimes so your aim isn't as good.
But I don't even really play CS anymore. Used to be on the nationally ranked teams. Our team was ranked 24th in the US on OGL.
I always liked Team Fortress better. It's just so much funner. I can play that game for day's at a time. But hack's really ruin the games. If you've ever seen the speed hack, you'll know what I mean. And the Engineer is totally abuseive, getting 140+/10 averages is just sickening. And not from that janky sentry gun either, the EMP is prolly the best weapon in the game.
Do you play any TFC?
I play :
Street Fighter Alpha 2-3 :
1. Sodom (hehehe)
2. Ryu
3. Adon
My Capcom vs SNK team :
Ryu - Blanka - Dhalsim
"Meaning what? You have no way to deal with sniper's, so you just bash em?"
Meaning I can put down an AWPer with an AK no problem, or I could anyway. I *respect* the REAL snipers who use the Scout since a headshot kills in any case, but the AWP is for pussies who can't aim and need to tag people in the foot to kill them. The Scout, the SIG, and the G3 are acceptable, but the AWP is for lamers.
Ever see the Day of Defeat mod? It's pretty good. TFC is cool but UT has the same games. The flamethrower is the best weapon ever. :P
Holy balls, this is a diverse thread I've read everything from quote by Nietzsche to everyone's literature and porno preferences. What's everyone's favorite movie? Here's my top 5, in no important order...
1. Braveheart
2. Mallrats
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Gone In 60 Seconds (damn I want a Shelby )
5. Silence of the Lambs
P.S.-Unfortunately, JP, I've had to read half of your "I'll never ever ever Read" list for my Honers English class already
Elrond: That's exactly where I had to read it too
Top 5 Movies:
1) Top Gun
2) Army of Darkness
3) The Terminator
4) Aliens
5) The Boondock Saints
JP: army of darkness but not evil dead in the top 5? how can it be?
my top 10:
1) dead man
2) the big lebowski
3) the thing (carpenters version)
4) fear and loathing in las vegas
5) dark star
6) der totmacher
7) mutters courage
8) apocalypse now
9) dawn of the dead
10) ed wood
Aliens, Jaws, The Terminator, The Boondock Saints, The Big Lebowski, Superman, Evil Dead 2... no particular order.
Ok ok ok.......Don't get on my case about this, but I'm the kind of guy who likes any movie that's truely beautiful.......Beautiful Setting, Superb acting, Excellent screenplay, inciting cinematography, enduring score.....these are the things that I first look for in a movie. Based on these criteria, my personal favorite movies are:
1. The Shawshank Redemption- The kind of movie that you can watch a hundred times over and never get bored with (that's how TNT stays on the air). This movie first won me over with it's endearing plot and original score (extra points to whoever knows the composer and what other famous works he's done {after you know who did it, you'll be able to recongnize all his music}). The more I became interested in the film, the more I saw the picturesque setting, the inherant beauty of Morgan Freeman's acting, and the overall ambiance of the movie.
2. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon- The best setting I've ever seen. Just absolutely gorgeous. The cinematography further enhances the intense feeling of awe, with the striking contrasts in the individual scenes (look at the scene where Li Mu Bai is floating through the trees, and their use of shadow). The performances were excellent, though suffering from the language barrier. The musical score is one of my all time favorites, so beautiful. The screen play doesn't seem like much at first glance, but the more you look into the individual characters, the more you find. I personally find Xiao Long to be the most intriguing, alternately a Crouching tiger, and a hiding child. It may have just been where this movie struck in my life, but it created an intense longing for the one I love, moreso than any movie I've ever seen. Side note-This movie is best seen dubbed, as too much is lost when you're reading words on the screen.
3. Braveheart- A striking epic, everything people made Gladiator out to be and ten times more. Incredible setting, powerful Score, awesome cinematography, supreme acting, and most of all, an intriguing script. To get the most out of this movie, pay more attention to the interaction between William Wallace and Robert the Bruce, the most enjoyable character of the movie. In Robert the Bruce, we see an intense conflict, such contrary wants and needs.
4. American Beauty- This movie most epitomizes the necessity for Screenplay and acting. This movie is carried by the performance of Kevin Spacy, probably one of the best of our time. Incredibly enjoyable script, and another great score. The cinematography is incredible, and all these wonderful elements come together for an endearing film. This is another movie that produces a feeling of intense longing, complete control over my emotions with such simple things as well placed chords.
5. Saving Private Ryan- This movie tops all with it's Cinematography, Setting, Score, Acting, and Screenplay, yet it's fifth on my list. I don't know why. In all the above areas it's superb, incredibly well made, yet it doesn't top my list.
Honorable Mentions-
Schindler's List- Same reasons as Saving Private Ryan
Les Misérables- Another movie that excels, yet suffers from poor cinematography. Enoyable plot, superb acting, dramatic scenery, and an excellent score, Geoffry Rush and Liam Neeson deserve accolades for their performances.
The Matix- a suprisingly fun movie, with a great script, excellent setting, and great cinematography, it lacks performances. Doesn't have the true dramatic spirit, but fun to watch.
Elizabeth- This movie would be in my top five if it were a half hour shorter. Everything about this movie is wonderful, excepting the fact that it drones on for a little too long.
I don't care if you call me womanly, but those are my favorite dramatic movies. Just so you know, I haven't yet seen Citizen Kane or The Godfather, so don't ask.
And remember everyone, Random-Miser has Apprentice!
MISSION TO MARS!!!! YEAH!!! WOOHOO!!!
Man, my girlfriend made me go see that piece-of-trash movie and i've never been the same since.
Memnoch the Devil is one of the best contemp gothic books i have read, but atm im into reading old stuff, So Matt, im gonna check out your Anne
Old Poetry just rocks btw.
//Zanethian
*And just to stay sort of on topic, i just found out that most of my friends spent the entire week with one of my ex's*
Oooo, "Blood and Gold" by Anne Rice comes out soon btw Im forced to buy it for my collection, but i don't know how good it can actually be, considering those who have read the first 9 or so have already heard Marius' story like a billion times through other sources
//Zanethian
Fight Club is God.
Shawshank was awesome. Dogma was cool as well.
Anyone else see 'Best of Show.' My god, that movie sucked!
Saltz
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
YOU MUSTN'T DEFILE THE ALMIGHTY BEST IN SHOW!
Seriously, that movie kicked some serious ass....Over half of it was improv too.....
Fight Club is the single most overrated pile of junk I have ever seen. The plot is pathetic, the subtext weak, and the surprise was easy to figure out 45 minutes into a movie three times that long and then some. It was far and away one of the dullest and most thoroughly unentertaining movies I have seen in my entire life and if I could ask the writer for those two hours of my life back I would.
As I can see we have no The Matrix fan's in here? I loved the matrix, even if Reeves is really lame.
Best in show was funny as hell man. "No actually, I was born with 2 left feet". LOL.
Has anyone seen office space?
Fight Club and The Matrix were overrated albeit fun.
Get the Iron Chef in this topic!
Fight Club is about the violence, ignoring inhibition, and losing control. I admit that the second half of the movie (and the ending especially) did not work very well, and that the story over all wasn't too great. Also they were trying to push a shoddy view on a materialistic society. Although the idea is alright and some points are good, the entire argument is very loose (not lose) and rather flimsy. But these I ignored. The setting was beautiful. The nights, littered streets, busy city, lights. Some noir-dystopia mix. I just love that atmosphere. Watch it for the rush, watch it for the fighting, appreciate the images. Ignore the content.
I watched it as a really good bare knuckle boxing match. With a lot more blood and a lot less dodging. If only they had made it 1.5 hrs of solid fighting. And maybe 1/2 and hour to conclude.
I still think though, that fight club is god.
Books:
1) The Dispossessed - Ursula K. Le Guin
2) Dune series - Frank Herbert
I loved those.
A Clockwork Orange introduced to me some hypothetical situations about free will. As well as observing that some youth have an irrational lust for violence, which I can totally relate to. Chapter 21 Also states that the youth eventually mature - which I am also beginning to relate to.
Comic Books:
Sandman - Neil Gaiman
Preacher - Garth Ennis
Earth X//Universe X
Sin City Series - Frank Miller
The Dark Night Returns - Frank Miller
These are the best of the best.
Sandman for the story
Preacher for the dark humor
Earth//Universe for the ambitious scale
Sin City for the BRILLIANT art
Dark Night Returns for Nostalgia (although that is impossible to communicate)
YES! I love Iron Chef.
Dune was awesome, but got worse as the series went on (not a surprise).
Saltz
Well, I have a bit more time than for my last post so I'll mention some of my other favorite movies, including some I am eagerly awaiting
"A River Runs Through It"-I'm an avid fly-fisherman (since I was about 5) and was born in Western Montana. It's a natural for me. Beautifully written and filmed.
"Field of Dreams"-I love baseball and baseball history. ANyone else who does will probably like it.
"Iron Chef:The Final Showdown"-Will Bobby Flay disgrace his cutting board a second time? What will that funny chairman guy think up for a nasty-lookign ingredient next? I guess we'll just have to wait
"City of Angels"-Great movie, sad ending. It's a chick flick, but a very good one.
The Star Wars Trilogy-So you don't have to be a genius to think up a plot like this, or figure out how to do space scenes in your basement. They are still good, fun movies. Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher are the real saving grace of the three
Indiana Jones Series-Some more simple, but fun flicks. Harrison Ford sure is a good actor.....
"Finding Forrester"-Good movie, if you haven't seen it you really should.
"Army of Darkness"-Man I love this movie. A few people could spend hours with this movie on DVD, rewinding and zooming in on the wierd details. Example-some of the skeletons are wearing German ww2 helmets. One is carrying a bayonet on a broom-stick
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show"-The movie that began the true warping my mind. A little bit (total understatement here) creepy but still fun to watch once in every LONG while
Monty Python-Man these movies kick ass. "The Meaning of Life" is the best one in my opinion, partly because I really love the catholic sex-ed class "Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail" and "The Life of Brain" are good ones too, well worth warping your sense of humor with.
Did I mention "Iron Chef:The Final Showdown" yet? Yes? Alright, I'll keep moving....
"You've Got Mail"-Got you! This movie sucked ass. It's only merit was....um....Meg Ryan is cool?
Well, I'm about out of steam. There are tons of other movies I like but I'm way too lazy to take money from the people who get paid to review movies. G'Night
Keth o-)
Oh, yeah. Hopefully, the trilogy based on "The Lord of the Rings" (with "The Hobbit", 4 of the best written and most entertaining books on the planet, in my opinion) is one-twentieth as good as the books. at 5% as good, they will still be good movies, any better and they will become slightly addictive
satz:H*LL NO!
The dune serie is extremely good from 1st to 6th! ^_^
Those that are disappointing me are the prequels; did they really have to take that guy who writes the young jedi knight books??
Also, if you haven't read them, Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game and the 4 other novels in that universe... You probably will recognize yourself in the protagonist, a lot 8)
For the LotR movies, i jsut hope that my friends are right and that they won't make it too bad by trying to make it understandable to everyone. It is SO disappointing when stuff like that happen(like, Jurassic Park, 1 and 2).
Wow the forum continues. Hey Rasko have I won for the longest forum yet? LOL Hmmm....my favorite movies:
1.) Legends of the Fall (tear jerker)
2.) Saving Private Ryan (same)
3.) The matrix
Matrix is my favortite movie simply cause of Keanu Reeves most famous line in that movie "Whoa"
Interesting....I was seriously thinking about Legends of the Fall for my honorable mentions, but so many other movies did for me what it did and did it better.
Just trying to do my part so he gets the longest thread ever...
Movies:
1. City of Lost Children
2. Dark City
3. Immortal Beloved
--Matt
The City of Lost Children is a great movie.
That scene where the two women (the twins) were interactively cooking together was really cool.
I don't watch enough movies to have a favorites list, but a few that are stuck in my memory were Buffalo 66, Orgasmo, 3.14159, and Brazil.
geez....still no reply from Rasko....
Matrix > other movies
;)
Matrix = teenies love me = mtv clip = can i buy some philosophy at walmart, please? shouldn't cost more than $ 9.99
LOL - but it is still a good movie - not The Best, but quite good
Hey now, any movie with a minigun in it is okay by me!
well, tastes are different.
i like fight club, and others here think it's a piece of crap.
some people like matrix, i think it's not even mediocre. so whatever.
what surprises me is, that saving private ryan (which i think is a warmonger movie, and no anti-war film) is quite popular here, but no one seems to like "the thin red line". which is one of the best movies about war i've ever seen (and apocalypse now)
Matrix = dumbed-down ripoff of Dark City.
--Matt
How's about other Movie/Film catagories?
B rated movies? The Toxic Avenger, Orgasmo, ect...
Anime? Vampire Hunter D, Akira, ect...
Porno? Twin Peaks, Sexetaries, ect...
Sylvester: I only read Dune, Dune Messiah, and Children of Dune, and they got worse as they went on (though they were great). Never even started the other books (were they written by Frank Herbert?)
Saltz
What about "The Crow"(the original)??? Now that was a bad-ass movie!!!
the first were written by herbert(until the house of the mothers or something like that)
The prequels are written by some star wars author, with the help of brian herbert(HE should be writing them!).
Who has read venus prime? Another good book(by Paul Preuss, with help or something by clarke, iirc)
The Thin Red Line came out around the same time to a lot less hype, so people didn't see it. IMO, SPR isn't what I'd call "warmongering" as I know several people who were AT D-Day who still can't watch that part of the movie either at all or without crying. Apocalypse Now is a great movie, but you can't really compare Vietnam and WW2 movies in some aspects-- Vietnam themes are inherently more anti-war because the Vietnam War wasn't a "good" war, whereas everyone and their uncle agrees that fighting Hitler and the Nazis was the right thing to do. It's hard to portray WW2 in a negative light on account of the whole Holocaust and so forth.
az:
the thin red line is about WW2 (like SPR) and very good though (unlike SPR). but it's not about WW2 in europe.
SPR is pathetic and patriotic.
there are european films about WW2, which really gave me the creeps.
do you know the movie "stalingrad", az (a german movie)?
that is really an anti-war movie. nothing is shown in a postitve or heroic way there. even german stalingrad verterans said, this pic is realistic.
aboout SPR again: i liked the first 25 mins (aka D-Day). the rest was useless, fictional trash IMO, and had nothing to do with an anti-war movie.
i saw SPR in english at a cinema, and we had a good laugh about the stereotype, idiot germans with the strange accent:
quote from SPR, original version:
"Hans! Wo ist die Panzerfaust?"
"Die ist bei der 4. Kompanie!"
LOL
the germans did meaningless trash talking.
from a serious movie about (WW2) war i can expect, that both sides are shown in a realistic way. this really was not the case in SPR, so it only was a movie for the US.
even in peckinpahs "Steiner- cross of iron" both sides are shown pretty objective and not discriminating IMO.
Probably the best war film of that entire war was 'Tora! Tora! Tora!', which was a Japanese film about their attack on Pearl Harbor. Europe had some good ones, too, like 'The Longest Day', but Tora! Tora! Tora! is the best imho. The new Pearl Harbor movie sucks in comparison until the attack (which would've been great [the attack] if they could've afforded the CGI for the _real_ WWII ships besides the heavies; seeing a model of a battleship built in the 1910's (as all of them were there) alongside a real Cold War-era destroyer was no good).
Short version: I'm a conservative wacko who knows WAY too much about the military for my own good, and I like Tora! Tora! Tora! the best.
I really hate war movies, but I enjoyed _Apocalypse Now_ and _The Deer Hunter_.
--Matt
yes, apocalypse now and the deer hunter were pretty good.
actually, i love apocalypse now.
"who is in command here?"
"not you?"
What about "All Quiet on the Western Front?" Better book I know, but still....
Heheh... Please people, we're talking about our favorite movies, NOT our favorite WAR movies! Try to stay on topic. ;) Anyways, here's my 2 pfennig for the pile:
I have to agree with whomoever above mentioned Shawshank Repemption... I only saw it once but remember it as an enjoyable portrayal of the triumph of one man's spirit against a horrible situation.
Road to Wellville- A funny period piece set in the late 1800's to early 1900's(?) about the health craze of that time and all its nostrums & quack remedies. With all the big names it had (Matthew Broderick, Brigette Fonda, Anthony Hopkins, John Cusack), I'm surprised the movie isn't better known.
Jacob's Ladder- Psychological thriller starring Timothy Robbins and some others whose names escape me. The plot is difficult to follow and even at the end it's a little hard to sort out what actually happened, which may have contributed to this movie being less-well-known than otherwise. Nonetheless, the mystery presented is intriguing and even when you're confused the nightmare imagery keeps your eyes glued to the screen. Trivia tidbit: In a scene after Jake has his brush with near-fatal fever, he is talking to Jezzie and yells at her, "Who are you??" There was something very wrong about that scene... What was it?
Well, that's a few of my favorites. Once again, I ask your cooperation in keeping this thread on topic... Space monkeys, wasn't it?
stay on topic LOL!
azhrei:
do you mean "im westen nichts neues" based on the book from remagen?
this picture from 1930?
i heard it should be pretty good, but didn't see it yet.
is it worth watching?
>>"who is in command here?"
>>"not you?"
Actually I think it's..
"Who's the C.O. here?"
"Ain't you?"
--Matt
matt:
maybe. i only know the german version.
there it is:
"wer hat hier das kommando?"
"nicht sie?"
Wow from girl/job help, to Nietche, to religion, to books, to games, to porn, to movies, to german movies. What next....favortie CCG....LOL Mines Magic: the Gathering, ever heard of it?
serra collector:
well, i guess you got a lot of advice here
Matt's quoting is correct. That german translation is very literal.
I still like Aliens as my favorite war movie.
Well, I got a lot of advice for the first 5-6 days, then ut just kinda wavered. I'm still waiting to hear from Rasko to see if mine is the longest post ever on here. I think that its not only the longest post, but also the most changed topics, and the only one that doesn't have to do a damn thing with Magic. LOL Come on I still want that Bdominia Shirt that says "I participated in the Totally and Completely Off Topic In Every Way Possible forum"
Aliens is my favorite movie period.
I don't speak German at all so I have no idea if it's the same thing, but All Quiet on the Western Front is a MUST for anyone to see/read.
All Quiet on the Western Front and Im Westen Nicht Neues are the same book. And yes, it's a really good movie.
No it isn't, AQotWF is a lame movie, even for back then. Saveing Ryan's Privates is much better! Especially the freak fest scene with the 2 lesbian german nurses....
Quote:I really hate war movies, but I enjoyed _Apocalypse Now_ and _The Deer Hunter_.
H. R. Geiger's artwork is consistently very good... Uh... There's this artist that did some pieces which ended up on the covers of some sci-fi/fantasy books, I believe, which did a picture of a gargoyle, attached to a building, becoming alive as it broke out of its stony casing and reached for a little bubble floating in the air beyond its stony perch. Anyone know who did it? That's a great pic.
Well, I am not a huge fan of art, but I do collect Magic cards with work by Christopher Rush. I would have to say Abbey Gargoyles, Knights of the Thorn, and Jovial Evil are my favorites....too bad Christopher Rush no longer does art for WoC
If there's one thing I hate more than philosophy, it's art.
But while art is the topic, it's a fetus Matt, not a scrotum!
Don't ask why, but I just read this whole epic for the first time. All I can really say is you guys have been stuck on movies for way too long.
Off-off-topic: Blastoderm is a good green creature.
Well, I was talking about art in a more general sense. Magic art is far too on-topic for this thread
JP: If you hate art so much, give us a big (preferably very, very long to fit in) rant about why you hate art so much
Most are sports oriented but LeRoy Nieman's paintings are very good. His use of color ends up really cool. and just to give him some credit, Fred Carrow is a great painter (he's my art teacher )
Matt, JP, can't we compromise? Lets just call it a "scrotus" or "fetum"
Well, I also happen to love Bob Ross. The happy tree, the happy river etc. Did you know he died? Speaking of dead people, can any one confirm that Whitney Houston died of a DOD?
Elrond: I won't bend. It is a fetus and that's final.
Because it's so DEEP man. Like too deep for you or me to understand. Like "Look at this painting, it's so DEEP." Did I mention how DEEP people think that art is? And no matter what intentions were there in creating something, those pretentious critics will always start talking about how great it is. And worst of all, when I want to like a picture just because I think it looks cool, I need to have some pundit stick his nose in my face and tell me how DEEP it is. I just like it because it has a guy grilling Twinkies! Shit, I joined that website as a giant joke that only me and people looking for my stupid-ass Magic haikus would get!
Oh yeah, http://www.artconspiracy.com/artists/BadPlayer.htm
Screw the tendency of art to be DEEP (why am I capitalizing that, too?). I just like painting It gives me an hour every morning to wake up while earning a credit towards graduation
Screw the tendency of art to be DEEP (why am I capitalizing that, too?). I just like painting It gives me an hour every morning to wake up while earning a credit towards graduation
My swimming pool is deep. Oops, sorry I didn't read the original thread!!! I feel so stupid, I was way off topic....geez!!!
Hey guys I just wanted to let you know, from my VERY ORIGINAL POST, that I have the girl thing handled, I been talking to this girl I met this summer, and things are going great, thanx for the (orignal) advice. As soon as I stopped looking for a gilr, one found me. Thanx again
Heh.. until she wants you to stop playing magic because she wants to spend more time with you...
(not that I'm a cynic or anything);D
-Lou
PS: Army of Darkness is the best!
and Dark City??? that's the worst movie I've seen next to cabin boy.
-Lou
Lol @ Cabin Boy!!!
Cabin Boy was funny! "I will leave a cabin boy and return a cabin man."
Yeah, funny like kidney stones...
-Lou
What? Dark City is a great movie! Stop smoking crack...or rather start and then watch it again. Mind you I'm talking about the 1998 sci-fi movie (there was a 1950s film noir movie by the same name).
NOTHING with Chris Elliot is funy. Till this day I cannot eat raisins because of that man.
for the record the worst movie of all time is "Mars Attacks". It isn't even good enough to watch when you're in the mood to watch saomething bad and laugh at it...AWFUL.
--Matt
Ok, I can agree that the only thing Mars attacked was my sense of humor, but despite all the crap it gets Matrix was cool as hell.
Other bad movies? Anything with Tom Green in it. Why did I waste my money on Freddy Got Fingered???
**Kicks himself**
-Lou
Well, I saw John Capenter's Ghost's Of Mars. No point, no plot, no story line, but a great movies simply cause of the ass kicking. Hell yeah!
But "Mars Attacks" is by far the worst because it is actually dangerous to a persons health. How you ask?
My best friend (female) was so tramatized by being forced to watch that movie that anyone, even a complete stranger, who even casually mentions the title gets a swift kick to their groin.
In fact (to show that I'm not blatantly lying) I'll IM her right now (she's at work doing nothing) and show you guys the pasted transcript..
Spherical: Hey I realized something.
Jenfah: What?
Spherical: If I started talking about MARS ATTACKS now you couldn't kick me in the groin...
Jenfah: Cocksucker! I will kick you in the balls later!
Spherical: MARS ATTACKS MARS ATTACKS
Spherical: What a great movie. Should've won for best picture.
Jenfah: Your time will come. You're agile and quick, but you won't be looking one day and I'll get you.
Spherical: I think we should rent it one day. We could strap you to to a chair and duct tape your eyelids open.
It all degenerates into her cursing her head off at me now so I'll cut it off...
I will have to wear a groin cup the next time we hang out--I hope you all appreciate this.
--Matt
Well, I must say that I despise this love of films and movies here. People, go read the books! Books are a far deal better than any movies anyone can make. I admit, though, there are movies which cannot ever be books just because they themselves are a piece of art (Like "Happy Go Lucky", a film about a chinese boy not capable of doing a simple sports exercise - very tense, I'm not joking!).
I agree on "Tora! Tora! Tora!", it's an absolute epic. My favorite war movie (which never could be as tense in written form) is "Full Metal Jacket". Never seen a more stirring movie.
Now, as you may guess, I'm a real book-worm. I love the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy and I enjoy the "Dune" series for SF, and I read "Discworld" novels if I want to have a good laugh. But they all don't reach the best book ever written: "The Brothers Karamasov" by Fyodor M. Dostoyevski. (I only have a German volume, so I don't know if the title is the correct english version.) Dostoyevski is my favourite author anyway. He makes for a very tense and catching reading. Even his very detailed descriptions both of inner and outer states of mind and appearance do not bore the reader.
If you want something really picturesque, try Tolstoy's "War and Peace". That thing is really epic with 980 pages in a really small font, and it's hard to read sometimes but entertaining.
Other than that, some more authors have written noteworthy books, like the Mann brothers, Hans Fallade, Hermann Hesse, Heinrich Heine, and a lot of others who are not so well known.
My favourite political book is Nelson Mandela's "A Long Walk to Freedom". If you want to learn something, read it!
Drama is an entirely different matter from literature. Shakespeare is my personal favourite, not because of his pathetic plots, but because of his fascinating language. Shakespeare is absolutely untranslatable for that reason. The elaborated way he applies his language to contents, and his sophisticated puns incorporated in that very speeches are to witty and embedded in his time and language to be transferred into today's language and even into foreign tongues.
The worst movie I have ever seen was "Half Baked". I switched off after half an hour. The best movie I've ever had the honour to watch is "Full Metal Jacket". The movie I'd present the award of the most beautiful pictures is probably "Tiger and Dragon", a wonderful epic from ancient China. It won two (?) oscars, in case you didn't know. "American Beauty" ranks close behind, and the German movie "Schule" ("School") fills it's own category for me. In the category humor I rank "Dark Star" first (never laughed my ass off more than on that one) and "Army of Darkness" second.
Now go read a book with more than 100 pages!
Dozer
>>>If you want something really picturesque, try Tolstoy's "War and Peace". That thing is really epic with 980 pages in a really small font, and it's hard to read sometimes but entertaining.
>>>Now go read a book with more than 100 pages!
It's all about Charles Dicken's _Bleak House_. 1,183 pages baby! Now get the hell back inside and make me a sandwich!
--Matt
Tolstoy blows. I had to read Anna Karenina last year. I forgot how many pages that monstrosity was. To say that it sux0rz would be the understatement of the year. Every day in class I would trash that book, which had the double bonus of it being my teacher's favorite book.
Speaking of The Brothers Karamazov, my friend was reading that book for fun over the summer during his breaks at work. We both were camp counselors with little (6-8 year old) kids. He was reading it while his kids were in the pool. One of them was like "Can I see that?" So he answered "If you can read this whole book by the end of the day, you can keep it!"