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by tj gi
strategy for weirdos here again, for your entertainment and wasted download time, it's tj with this month's strategy for weirdos column. you know, it's been a strange month. tempest is my first expansion, and i wasted a whole lot of money buying two boxes. i still didn't get a rathi dragon, which is the only card out of the whole set that i really cared anything about, and instead, i got about sixteen dark rituals. well, it does have cool art, but i think i have about three hundred of those already. overall, a big disappointment for me. anyway, on to the column, and the weird strategy of the month. this month i'd like to talk a little bit about phasing. this, oddly enough, was not my idea. this weird strategy, wotc came up with all by themselves. it seems probable that they simply watch too much television, and that some of that viewing included exercise programs. in their wisdom, wotc has decided to include, for the benefit of its players, an exercise program installed directly into any blue deck -- phasing. the deck i am talking about includes some or all of the following (not a complete list -- i'm not weird enough actually to build this deck):
the exercise comes each and every turn, when all of your creatures phase in or out. not only on your turn, mind you -- you also have to remember that vanishing and some of the others work on other players' turns. i have seen phasing players whose bellies are fat and corpulent, but who have very, very strong arms from phasing their creatures in and out at the slightest provocation. at least, i think that's why they're strong. another weird thing to do with a phasing deck is to play your phasing enchantments on the other guy's creatures. this way, you not only lose the game, but you make the other player mad at you as well. the best phasing card, overall, for effect and caloric burn, is shimmer. this card, if you aren't familiar (and i can't blame you for avoiding it up to now), allows the caster to choose a land type, which then gains phasing. not only do you practically guarantee that there will be cards to phase each and every turn, but you also find out very quickly whether your opponent has a disenchant available. if they do, make sure you have a counterspell handy -- we don't want to deprive your opponent of his exercise, do we? certainly not. by the way, who is this teferi guy, anyway? even ertai, famed wizard of the weatherlight, wonders "what was teferi thinking?" in the quote for one card that i'm not going to dig out of my commons box right this minute. teferi, as it turns out, is an anagram for reefit, which, seemingly obviously, is a real drug reference by the wotc. phasing is really annoying. your turns take a long time, and the deck is so odd in its mana requirements that it is nearly impossible ever to win with it. but if you want a weird strategy, try phasing this month. that should hold you until i return next month, talking about another strategy for weirdos. s'long! -- tj gi tj gi is a new contributor to beyond dominia, and is quite allergic to capital letters
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